Raya!

i drove to my eldest sister's house on the eve of raya, and because i wanted to avoid the traffic, i used the Duke highway. ah! the comfort!

well anyway, it was soothing to be near your flesh and blood. since my eldest sister, kak ma, has advanced alzheimer, there's only farah my niece and her hubby yusri for me to talk to. and their baby aleesha to entertain. the last buka puasa was simple. yusri cooked nasi ayam for us, being the son of a caterer, and i must say that his culinary skills are commendable. we were joined by farah's sister, lina and her hubby romy, who derives pleasure from teasing (menyakat) me. he is forever making stupid jokes, and i always have this bored look on my face, and sometimes when i just can't stand it any longer, i'll just say "romy go away". around 20 minutes after the buka puasa, abg mi called me to confirm the raya itinerary.

early the next morning, i woke up simply because our body is used to waking up for sahur, and my tummy is rumbling. it's raya morning! so i made my way to the kitchen, and also because i had a mild migraine, i decided to partake the nasi minyak so i could swallow the pills. yusri woke up early too, to make ayam masak merah.

we made our way to the first destination - kak dah's house in bukit mahkota - the farthest house first. abg mi and family and lina and family were already there. there was a big fuss especially when i went straight to the kitchen island and started dishing out lontong for myself. i was the first one to eat you see hehehe...but i assured them that my gym opens on the 4th day of raya and i intend to go. abg mi's 3 arshads were there, all giving their attention to the little aleesha. as usual, when we gather, abg mi will start talking about food, especially the food that he managed to buy in terengganu when we went back for the hearing. after some social eating, we took some family pics but i can't post them now at the moment. have to wait till i get home. the next destination was at abg halim's house in sg buluh. by the time we arrived there, i was too bloated to eat anything so i just watched them eat nasi dagang. abg halim loves big soundspeakers so you can just imagine the noise when he put on a dvd and turning the volume on loud. i couldn't even hear myself think.

after abg halim's house, we proceeded to kak sham's house. we avoided her house till afternoon since abg jenal's extended family is much bigger than ours, and to put our side with his side in a house can be a nightmare. kak sham made mother's chicken briyani, and i was happy to eat them. her rendang is like Forrest Gump's box of chocolate "you'll never know what you're gonna get" since many parts of a cow are in there. again, abg mi talked about his much loved subject - food and also rearing fish. and also asking me pointedly how long was i at the dining table.

the raya itinerary finished here today, as i'm staying at kak sham's house. tomorrow will be abg mi's open house. there'll be some serious eating and some photo snapping as well.

selamat hari raya y'all.

Alone on the Eve of Raya

i'm alone in the house (as usual) but this is something new for me during raya. i'm supposed to be packing to spend raya with my family, but i'm too tired after baking two types of cookies Butterscotch Buttons and Biskut Arab (i'm posting the recipe in my nora's dapur blog). plus, i always hate packing. really. looking back, i can honestly say that for all my overseas travel and umrah i always packed the day before i left.

well, let's not digress here. i do feel a bit of raya cheer, but it's not like what it used to be. i miss the raya celebration at home in Kuala Terengganu, when everybody's back and the house is suddenly crowded with more than 5 cars in front, and with people everywhere from the kitchen to the porch outside. i miss the canon shots to signal the breaking of fast and imsak, and also for raya. i miss seeing mother's happy face when all her children and grandchildren come back.

of course, nostalgia won't bring my mother back. nor can i celebrate raya in terengganu anymore. so, i've to make do with what i have, because i still have my family. which is why, on thursday calls were made to my siblings to plan the raya itinerary. that was enough to lift my spirits.

i'm still sleepy. god, i hate packing.

On this Friday

i woke today with a feeling of joy. of course, who won't be, since the raya hols has officially started and despite the bundles of unmarked scripts (which i do hope i've the discipline to finish), i'm as happy as a lark. or as happy as a linnet, as Yeats would have put it.

anyway, i still have the cold so i've to pop the pills. i made a big mistake last Wednesday when i took a tiny flu pill and then fell asleep in the hooligans class. no kidding! i was already drowsy by the time i reached their class but i fought the sleepiness and wanted to finish off the literature component syllabus. the assistant monitor saw my face and asked "teacher kenapa teacher nampak mcm nak nangis?" they all saw that i was too drowsy to teach. so i apologised and said i couldn't possibly teach them in this state and just slept. i did manage to see the half hidden grins on all their faces - because i always scold students who sleep in the class.

of course, raya this year won't be the same without my mother. but then i still have my siblings. and nephews and nieces. and grandnieces and grandnephews. after all those years of social awkwardness, i finally learnt to appreciate my family and friends.

disgust at such a response

my niece forwarded me a fwded email about a snip of a blog which i totally can feel the heat rising to my face after reading it; and obviously i would have give the person who cussed a piece of my mind. please read.

Ni aku jumpa dalam blog someone yg xpuas hati utk satu interview.
Org ni bakal grad dlm AI. Aku saje letakkan kat sini utk kita
renung-renungkan bersama.....

Baik. Aku rasa seperti mau bunuh orang.

Pernah baca posting aku tentang abang panda yg drive lexus?

Alkisahnya, aku ke pejabatnya, untuk interview kerja. Bersiap sekadarnya
dengan sepasang baju kurung, memakai sedikit lipstick warna pink. Pendek
kata sesimple yang mungkin.

Yang penting adalah portfolio. Dimana portfolio inilah senarai sistem yg
pernah aku bangunkan. Tak banyak, tetapi cukup untuk meyakinkan aku punya
kemahiran php.

Sampai saja dipejabatnya, aku dapati ada 8 candidates yg tgh tunggu turn.
Dan aku punya turn. Dan aku tak nampak abang panda itu.

Sempat aku berbual dengan candidates yg lain. Semua pun apply post junior
programmer. Dan hati aku agak senang bila candidates yg lain nampaknya
sumanya fresh graduates tanpa portfolio. Bermakna aku punya sedikit
kelebihan kerana yang lain belum pernah bangunkan sebarang sistem.

Aku pun masuk untuk sesi temuduga. Dua orang interviewer adalah perempuan,
dalam awal 30-an. Dua orang lagi lelaki. Mereka membelek2 resume aku dengan
muka yg agak kurang berminat. Yang menghairankan, mereka langsung tidak
membelek portfolio aku.

Dan, inilah saat yang tiba2 membuatkan aku berang. Apabila salah seorang
interviewer berkata kepada aku..

?°Sory ye dik. Kami tau adik ni bwk portfolio sendiri. Tapi company ini
lebih prefer org yg slim, presentable. Why not u kurangkan berat badan n
try again,?± Sambil tersenyum sumbing.

Kepada Nurul Fatheha Zainal Alam, a.k.a interviewer yang tidak beradab.
Saya tahu anda baca blog saya. Jadi sila baca dengan teliti.

Sebab kenapa orang Melayu tidak maju adalah kerana wujud golongan
berfikiran jumud seperti anda. Sejak bila programmer perlu secantik miss
world? Adakah anda cuma mahu programmer yang tidak menutup kepala, dengan
rambut perang seperti bulu beruk terkena clorox, dengan berpakaian skirt
pendek menampakkan betis besar tiang letrik dan berbaju ketat menampakkan
perut boyot seperti anda? Atau programmer yang mengenakan mekap tebal
seperti mak nyah, memantis kening senipis mungkin dan cuma tahu pakai
visual basic?

Maaf, jika bahasa aku biadap.

Tetapi terima kasih kepada abang panda a.k.a Encik Fawwaz kerana
menjanjikan aku post junior programmer sebaik sahaja aku grad, keesokan
harinya setelah aku tinggalkan portfolio aku kepadanya. Tetapi Encik
Fawwaz, saya tidak mahu bekerja di syarikat anda dengan manusia yang tidak
tahu adab. Dan tolonglah update staf anda dengan current programming
language. Sesungguhnya untuk bersaing dengan company lain, simpanlah VB yg
sudah berhabuk itu.

Noktah. Itu prinsip saya. Maafkan saya. Saya tidak mahu bekerja di sebuah
software house yang stafnya berpakaian seperti pelayan kelab malam. Saya
harap Encik Fawwaz tidak tersinggung. Anggaplah ini satu teguran, untuk
memastikan kejayaan yang diraih adalah dengan keberkatanNya.


and bawah ni ialah reply drpd salah seorang interviewer yg baca blog org
ni.....


Aa'ha said,
March 11, 2009 @ 12:42 am

What the hell do you mean by your redish wording? You just so fuckin rude!
Let me say this;
U tak lulus temuduga dengan kitaorg sebab kitaorang dah buat homework pasal
you berdasarkan maklumat dlm resume yg u hantar seminggu sebelum interview
and we?¯all trackback ur blog.
we all rasa u ni islamic freak berdasarkan posting u dlm blog.
guess what? we all tak mahu org mcm u sebab u nanti bermasalah nak
accompany customer karaoke @ minum2. sebab u org kampung yg tak tau sosial
dan pakai tudung macam mak nenek!!
kalau u rasa nak keja dekat company besar u better jgn kolot sangat sebab
u?¯ll never make it dgn cara u ni.u perlu sedar u hidup tahun 2009 bukan
zaman nabi dulu!!
and thanx-a-lot sbb tak terima job ni becoz we all memang allergic dgn org
yg konon2 islamik mcm u.

apa kata u try mintak keja dengan masjid kat kampung you?? buat sistem
masjid ke?

chill?-?-?-.

okay. first, i would say the person who cussed the poor girl is a bloody idiot who blabs a lot but knows nothing. i would say this person is in his or her 20s, very ignorant, or probably just a 30-40 year old ignorant idiot.

i have met people like this before. i've even mingled with some of them socially in the past. they are caught up in their tiny world of materialism and fame. and money. and to be in the "in" crowd. to keep up with the joneses, so to speak. i know of someone who is still like that even though he's nearing 40.

of course, parroting such pursuits will only damage your soul. only stubborn mules will refuse to realise their mistakes even though the truth is in front of them. and those who are wise will change. to the person who cussed the poor girl, let me ask you this question. suppose you cuss and humiliate a lady who wears hijab, because, well, she wears hijab. and suppose you have a heart attack and only then you realise that she's a cardiologist. what would you do? of course, the lady would help you, even though you've cussed her. but if i were her (and i'm not as good as the lady), i would just leave you to die. but then again, i'd be committing a sin. hmmm *pondering*

it's a choice, but in the end, one group will be smiling, the other will rot in hell. take your pick. and to the one who cussed, may you grow boils and warts on your behind so that you will take time to ponder real hard - especially when you go to the little house.

haha just kidding. may allah enlighten your heart.

p.s. btw, i wasnt really kidding about the boils.

on med leave

this year alone i had flu 7 times. yep. 7 times. when i was in terengganu, the maximum mc i would get in a year was 2. but one can't compare KL to KL - KT is still unspoilt in many ways - my house is quite secluded from the blaring traffic. SS faces the sea, therefore i had plenty of fresh sea breeze everyday.

my house in KL is quite in the middle of the city. behind the house is a small road which was unrelatively quiet 10 years back. now, i can hear the sounds of vehicles at every imaginable hour, including at ungodly hours.

the dust is everywhere, so are the fumes. at school, with the kind of students i've to teach, i'm not surprised if it has to be disinfected - because the students throw things everywhere. it's often that i use hand sanitiser after climbing stairs and holding on to the banister.

but this time, the flu is serious. i hope to Allah that this isnt H1N1. whenever one has a flu, everyone is scared (and there was, once upon a time, when getting a flu is as common and safe as getting diarrhea)

after self-medicating with clarityne, i woke up this morning feeling like there's a tonne of bricks on my head. i reasoned that i couldn't possibly handle the hooligans in this condition. so i went to the clinic, and as soon as i entered the room, the doctor straight away put on a mask. he didn't say anything to alarm me, so i assumed that mine is just normal viral flu.

hopefully.

i miss my mother

last thursday night, i read my usual weekly yaasin, and did terawih prayers. as taught by my late father, i always pray to Allah that the pahala i get from reading quran will be given to them. since the start of Ramadhan, i had been hoping to get visits from my parents via the dream, just like i had when my father passed away in 1991 (he wore a white robe, was smiling and had a glow on his face).

i had the dream all right. i dreamed that my mother had come back to life. i remember that i hugged her and told her "nora sayang mak", something that i was too proud to tell when she was alive. my father was there too, but my mother took centre stage in my dream since i feel so guilty. i think i owe my mother a lot of apology - i always feel that i wasnt a good daughter when she was alive and wish i can redeem my wrongdoings.

Some Thoughts about the Hooligans

those who're in my fb would have read my status last night - that i dreaded going into my hooligans' class. really, today i'm supposed to have 7 periods back-to-back, and i've to start my monday by entering their class.

what a way to start the day.

since their vocabulary is near to nil (some are really that bad, they're almost illiterate), i've to resort to using short passages to teach them reading comprehension. which is a nightmare, since the 1119 paper requires them to read a one-page text. well, i guess a little something is better than a lot of things. and so, with my noble intention as my cushion against any disappointment or anger, i carried a whole set of exercise books and worksheets.

the class, was in its usual state. some refused to stand when the monitor greeted me. the real hooligans were either sleeping and refused to wake up or talking with their "gang" members. they, of course, ignored me. i was frustrated when i saw a boy, who turned over a new leaf just a few weeks ago, suddenly became a jahil again.

there were some decent students, who were trying to pay attention, but were distracted. or shall i say, they thrive on distraction and welcome it gladly?

i tried to teach them some vocabulary items, but i'm the kind of teacher who can't stand having distracted students. and so i delivered my sermon today.

it's kind of sad because i pity them. i pity their ignorance, and their bleak future. i pity their complacence, and also pity them because they're stuck in the same social class, without ever having any thoughts of trying to break away to make their lives better.

that never enters their minds. all they know is doing some part-time job somewhere and getting paid. education isn't worth anything to them. i had to tell them that yes, they might enjoy the money, but without any paper qualification, they will not be able to live a comfortable life.

at the end of the class, i scanned the class trying to see any signs of change or repentance.

none what so ever.

noisy as usual. indifference. ignorance.

i felt frustrated and walked out.

the 1 day trip back to KT

my siblings and i received letters summoning us to appear for a private hearing of our late mother's property and the inheritance last thursday.

it was good to be back, my brothers all drove down with their wives while we the sisters took the flight back. instead of staying at the house (which now looks like a jungle) we stayed at a resort, while abg mi stayed a nearby hotel. he was sweet enough to send some bubur lambuk, tauhu fa, soya bean drink and some pulut lepa (one of the best in KT, which is sold in Ladang) to me for my sahur. unfortunately though there're only coffee stirrers in the room so you can just imagine how excruciating it was to use it as a spoon. of course, the next morning when i related to abg mi what i did, he let out a loud guffaw in the car when we're on our way to fetch kak dah.

someof you know me as a foodie, but what you don't know is i come from a family of foodies. abg mi is a good example of a foodie, some of the reasons of his return to terengganu over the years was to eat! when kak dah was sitting nicely in the car, he started to babble excitedly that his friend told him there's this awesome kerutup ayam sold at pasar ramadhan at chabang tiga. he had already scoured the place, and i'm not surprised if he had bought it for his sahur back in shah alam. and that's not all. his list included the famous bukit tok beng keropok lekor, he was willing to take numbers and queue for more than 1 hour!!! yup that's my brother. he was willing to wait for the man to start selling pak man nobat's nasi minyak which is at 3.30pm before he went back to shah alam. abg mi found out that pak man nobat has a stall at the pasar ramadhan at taman syahbandar. pak man nobat's nasi minyak is my family's favourite, and is a must for everyone in the family whenever we are in KT. what makes it so delicious is that the kurma is so fragrant that it leaves the smell on your fingers after the rice has settled in your tummy. the beef is tender, and i love the urat part. and, instead of the usual chunky acar, pak man nobat's acar is a finely pureed pineapple acar cooked in chilli sauce. after getting the tip from abg mi, kak dah and i hunted for the man selling the nasi minyak at taman syahbandar at nearly 4pm. even the business of buying keropok lekor can throw us into a lengthy discussion on what makes a good keropok. everybody has his own reasons to defend their favourites. i for one prefer mak nab's keropok because it contains less preservatives, but abg zaki doesnt like it because it becomes slimy after a few days in the fridge and crumbles after sitting in the freezer (i told him that's because there's no preservatives). abg mi's favourite at bukit tok beng keeps very well in the freezer, but then again, we don't know the amount of preservatives they use.

if you notice i havent said anything about the meeting. the meeting went well, but just to show you that we are really food connoisseurs. this is the reason why we love having family gatherings because there'll be serious eating activity, and why we love buying things associated with food and feasts.