teachers day

teachers day is here again. at school, it was a grand affair - the teachers had to walk the long walk with the students beating the kompang in front of us - until we were welcomed by dear students at the perdana square. there were the usual long boring speeches (which unfortunately, none of us listened to anyway), then there's the cake cutting ceremony, the release of the balloons and the pennant, some buah tangan fr the prefects and gifts from each class to its form teacher.

frankly, i've become cynical about the celebration. the students only know of this day as the day of no lessons. i wonder if they really know why they have to celebrate this day. it's like celebrating mother's day with a mother saying to the children "buy me some gifts because it's Mother's day and i'm your mother". that defeats the purpose, doesnt it? but then, children have to be taught to appreciate the very people who educate them. but all the same, how many of these students come to this realisation?

i dont really care for gifts, but i really value my students' well wishes, especially when i no longer teach them. the fact that they can still come and wish me tells me that they do appreciate me. today, some of the form 4 students did that although i no longer teach them. one of them who is now in TKC even called me from seremban just now. some from the drama team expressed their thanks, and one whom i taught literature in english as an extra spm subject called me up. it's this sincerity and genuine appreciation that matters

Triumph and Defeat

i got mail from UM the other day. it was not a letter, but a card... a congratulatory note from the dean of arts fac. so i 've passed :o). they misspelt my name though.

last week, my drama team went to compete in the state level competition. sad to say, we only managed to get the 2nd place. my students were very upset. i understand their frustration. i spent many hours with them, so i've come to know this bunch very well. it pained me to see them suffering - some girls cried, my best actor didnt walk up the stage to receive his trophy, and they refused to take lunch at the school which hosted the competition (and won). for me, it wasnt about winning the title. it's about being able to guide these teenagers, to laugh and cry with them.

These are the days

a few weeks ago, in an attempt to boost the morale of my budding thespians, i brought my photo album for them to peruse so that they may see the dramas that i was involved in when i was doing my tesl.

those pics reminded me so much of the younger carefree days. at that time the only problem i had was when i was broke. ah, i was so innocent then. i was so into RnB music at that time that i'd be with my walkman everytime we're free... i discovered david edding's wittiness in his books, and i had friends who manja me ... yeah i was the baby...

so when i saw the the pics, i wonder where did the happy go lucky girl go? the answer - she grew up, and faced the reality of life. sometimes i long for the uncomplicated old days...

Victory and Wedding Feast

i was in KL last weekend for yaya's wedding. a few days before i went, dr carol called to inform that i could submit the dissertation on friday. that meant that i've graduated.that means i'll walk up the stage to receive my scroll in august. Victoire!

we went to the akad nikah ceremony at masjid shah alam...the couple were in white...although personally, i prefer an off-white or cream ensemble...yaya and his wife...hmmm... the wife is very petite...while yaya is taller and bigger.the next day was bersanding at the girl's side.

after the bersanding, gina asha and i went to klcc...i splurged on books, as a way of celebrating my victory. i bought jamie oliver's and delia smith's books, and one gabriel garcia marquez's book, girl with a pearl earring and katherine... some may think that it's an odd way to celebrate...hey, it's a cool way to celebrate especially if u happen to be a literature graduate who likes cooking.

i came back on sunday morning feeling fatigued because of lack of sleep...thanx to my busmates who were mostly college students who could still sms at 1am...i really hate the sms sounds...and i really hate the tet tet sound of the keypad eventhough it's on silent mode. yes i was grumpy. had a long sunday as i had to monitor the drama team. the competition was today. and it paid off. we became the champion of kuala terengganu southern district english drama...and will be competing in the state level soon. at least my nagging paid off...

Drama,Drama,Drama

i'm in charge of the school's English drama this year, along with some other English teachers. the cast is a motley bunch of the veterans and the newbies. the script? too simple....

the other teachers cant comment much on the actors'/actresses' performances, but i was involved in a lot of English dramas...and being easily dissatisfied and that teacher's syndrome of being obsessive with correcting students, i tend to speak my mind. some of them are too stiff, as stiff as cardboard (i used to call 1 girl "the unbendable wooden plank" during my heyday as an actress in seri puteri's Shakespearean play, but then it's a different story), some think they know too much but they fail to see that they're still not perfect, some will be as goofy as ever despite their role as a gangster, some are just too emotional. all in all, i was very upset with their attitude that i just walked off from the school hall last week.

these students, i guess, didnt know the true meaning of being in a drama - and enjoying it. okay, granted, i hate the Shakespearean plays that i had to act when i was in Form 3 and 4, but i enjoyed the TESL dramas that i was involved in during those years in PPP. the most important thing is, we had fun. the tesl 4 had the talent for producing the most hilarious slapstick comedy, and i dare say that we're very talented and creative. i guess that's what made our dramas so memorable until i can still remember them even after more than 10 years. i can still remember blondie as the devil, with his supposedly evil laugh.... joe trying to find a good spot to die...pokcik and asmadi as the policemen trying to arrest the doctor from madras and then "rewinding" themselves in the process, the drama about Malay courting rituals, complete with the direct translation of the poems. try translating "2 3 kucing berlari". and then the drama about sultan melaka mangkat dijulang...with cromok as komeng with the habit of jerking his head to one side...

yes, it was our glorious days...i only wish those kids can learn from us so that they can become as happy and cheerful instead of becoming young grumpies.

trying not to sink

people in school saw me in gold kebaya with green leaf motis and green tudung, green handbag and green high heels. and yet nobody knows what i'm going through unless i tell them.

since last thursday i've been living my life like a zombie - i'm numb to all feelings, the surrounding... and worse, my migraine has come to visit and decided to dance the whole day (sometimes my migraine is like a rock concert - pounding on my head).

at night, after a visit to the loo, i lay awake, thinking about the dissertation...thinking about the literature essay i'm going to give to the students...and god, it's so warm that i've to switch on the aircond...and in the morning when i wake up i feel tired...

nash sent me some comments on my chapter 1. he's going to be a brilliant professor one day...but until then, i cant understand his comments...hmmm

to those of you who are familiar with my blog, you may notice that i'm slightly different today. this is the first time i really express what s going on in my head...
i'm trying not to sink in my anxiety. but it looks like i have.

These are the days

isnt it funny that when you're having a good time you dont notice how time flies? and when you're facing problems, you try to squeeze time to the last drop. if time can ever be like a lemon to be squeezed...

i'm into my 4th day of correcting my (at the moment, accursed) dissertation. my brain had been on holiday for half a year, so it received a shock...and so my blood pressure rose. at this time the only person who can help is my coursemate nash, who is our best student in class. the only one person that our lecturers offered a place at the prestigious english dept...to be with them.
well anyway, nash obliged my distress call and we met on saturday to discuss my dissertation. he didnt view my chapters then, but we talked about literature and his travels abroad when he had to present papers on literature. this was like the old days when we lunched after our classes. we didnt discuss other mundane stuff, we discussed issues in literature, about the works or authors that we had read. and no, contrary to other people's belief, it's not boring, simply because literature is my passion.

i felt calmer afterwards. because nash promised to help me by going through my chapter 1 hehehe.

The Return of the Nightmare

i've been postponing the final editing of my dissertation for sooo long now. after slaving myself reading academic books, especially the very dense Bhabha book, i just want to give my brain some rest and enjoy brain dead activities (not entirely dead la). i packed all the notes away, put all the rushdie's novels on the shelves, and instead of reading critical essays or journal articles, i now peruse and read recipe books. and obviously, honing my baking skills. after the sumptious tea yesterday, i thought, well, i should start editing the dissertation. i was given 6 months anyway. it's been 3 months now.

and lo, and behold....i called the dean's office and the girl in charge of the Literature MA students told me "you have to submit your bound dissertation first before the senate can meet and formally pass you". Arrrrrrrgghhhhhhhh!!!!! so i called Dr Carol, and told her what happened. seems like i've 2 weeks to complete the editing and courier it to her. she has 1 week to see my corrections, and i've 1 week to make final amendments and to go to UM in person and give the copies to be bound. *sigh*

i already pushed the heavy box filled with the notes back into my room. the bed is strewn with books and articles. Longman dictionary and literary terms and theory dictionary are beside me. there's the dreaded Bhabha book...."it is the emergence of the interstices-the overlap and displacement of domains of difference - that the intersubjective and collective experiences of nationaness, community interest, or cultural value are negotiated." bla bla bla...

oh no!!

Poems

i used to write poems. but eversince i started on my dissertation i stopped. to be able to write good poems, you do not only have to have the flair, but also a good knowledge of a wide range of poetry. that was what my undergrad academic exercise supervisor, mr hazidi, told me when he assessed my too-idealistic poems "you have to read MORE poems" and added "write when you're angry or sad or happy". well.... i took his advice. when i was in the final sem of doing my MA coursework, i took Stylistics (in other words, linguistics application in literature). much as i abhor the dryness of linguistics, i must admit that with the linguistics background i was able to criticise and analyse the poems better - that also means i know essentially what makes a good poem.

this morning, as i was about to write down the menu for the small tea party i'll be holding for my students tomorrow, i came across my book of poetry - written when i was experimenting with skills that i learnt in my classes. here i present to you the poems, but please do not plagiarise the works.

Ode to Batu Buruk Beach
At the sandy beach I stand,
Paying homage to an old friend,
Homeground.
My turf.
Palm leaves swaying to the roaring ocean,
Children playing colourful kites,
Murky waves unleash their fury,
They have seen much.
They know much.
The taste of nostalgia is deafening.
In my mother’s childhood days,
The puja pantai was celebrated.
Offerings made to the spirits of the sea,
Pagan dances under the moonlight.
The winds of the South China Sea greet me,
Two old friends are we.
In such powerful embrace,
I bask in the land’s love.
I’m a girl once more, of years ago.
I had abandoned you, I know.
But I’m here now, my friend.
The salty air is in my blood,
the sand, the sea, the palm trees…
The Land of the Seven Princesses is part of me.
Arms wide open I surrender.
I’m free! I’m free!
I’m the kite that soars high
I never lose ground
For you hold me firm and never let me stray.
Sounds of azan come with dusk.
I walk away with lighter steps.
I may fly again,
But I will always return.
Homeground.
My turf.

Music Box
While spring cleaning
I come across a memory.
The music box lies on the table
Dusty, forgotten.
I blow away the thin mist
and open the teak box.
Inside a lady and a man dance,
And soft melody plays;
Evoking memories of yesteryears
Of that particular time
Of that particular moment.
A time of happiness and hopes
To be dashed so soon.
It was just a fantasy.
It was a mistake.
The sweet serenade finally slows to a halt.
A salty saline drops on the two figurines.
I take a deep breath,
Slowly exhaling the old bittersweet story.
“Life must go on”
So I put back our love in the music box,
And let it dust away.

Faith

in life, we have to gamble and take risks in order to advance to the next level in our life. be it education, friendship, relationship, business deals, career wise, we sometimes cannot play it safe. why? because nothing is permanent (except for God). no house is big enough, no marriage is happy enough, no love is strong enough.

when i did my MA, some people thought that i was crazy - since in the 1st semester i had to travel to KL every single weekend to attend classes. teaching was one thing, then i had to write assignments and long essays! i didnt know how much i could endure, but alhamdulillah, despite the fatigue, my goal was clear and i was determined. then my sabbatical leave was approved, and everything was ok. the 2nd hurdle occured when i had to write my dissertation, which i think was the most difficult and challenging phase of all. i remember the time when i broke down after wiping out my 28 pages of a working chapter, the pressure was just too much. but i realised that i wasnt alone i received moral support from my coursemates. i learnt about myself, about how different people are. in the end, it all comes down to faith.

those who were, and are in relationships will agree that to be in one takes a lot of courage, and the longer you are in it, the greater your understanding of a person is, the more tolerant you are.
falling in love is the most exciting phase, the world seems to be smiling to you, and nothing can go wrong.
to love, however, is different. to love is to accept the other person's flaws, and to embrace his/her positive traits - and above all, despite all the ups and downs, to have faith in the relationship, and also to enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

"Stickwitu"
I don't wanna go another day,
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
Seems like everybody's breaking up
Throwing their love away,
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you forever.
Nobody gonna take me higherI must stick with you.
You know how to appreciate me
I must stick with you, my baby.
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you.
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
See the way we ride in our private lives,
Ain't nobody getting in between.
I want you to know that you're the only one for me (one for me)
And I say
And now
Ain't nothing else I can need (nothing else I can need)
And nowI'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me.
I got you,We'll be making love endlessly.
I'm with you (baby, I'm with you)
Baby, you're with me (Baby, you're with me)
So don't you worry about
People hanging around,
They ain't bringing us down.
I know you and you know meAnd that's all that counts.
So don't you worry about
People hanging around,
They ain't bringing us down.
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say

Contemplation

Islam encourages us to work hard as if there's no tomorrow, and to do deeds as if the end is near. islam also teaches us to be moderate, and to be humble.

it's easier said than done, but however hard it may seem, if we truly believe in the teaching, we will strive to do better.

sometimes success makes one forgets of one's humble beginning. some people just want to wipe out their early chapters of life, and choose to bask in the glory of their greatness.
someone i'm working with seems to have lost touch with his early chapters of life. his arrogance and words hurt a lot of people's feelings. which makes his subordinates feel dissatisfied with his decisions (voiced in arrogant manner). may be he forgot that he's just a human being and not an immortal.

i remember the VC of UKM when i was a student then. he's the most humble person i know - personally checking whether the light bulbs were working or not during Pesta Konvo, parking his car at the big parking lot instead of having a driver driving up his car to the big porch of DECTAR after the convocation ceremony (his subordinates all had their drivers drove up to the porch). i once went to the chancellory...and saw him walking up to his PROs and said "boleh mintak tolong tak?" in the friendliest tone. this is the kind of a boss everyone wants.

yes, it's easy to become too pleased with one's achievements no matter how small or insignifcant they are. but remember that by being arrogant, you're just pushing people away from you, and in the end you will not have a person who genuinely likes and respects you. it is by being humble that one gains friends, respect and admiration.

Post-Bekwah

well i'm back in kt, back to the daily routines.

the reception was a success. as i had said b4 in the previous entry, i was the bunga telur lady. and there i was, sweating profusely under the canopies, carrying a basket full of lilac bunga telurs. even the presence of ceiling fans didnt help. and i had another problem as well. my tailor already warned me that bcoz of the delicate lace on my kebaya, i had to be careful. the rattan basket i was holding already wreaked havoc with my delicate lace, so there were tiny wisps of threads everywhere.

i met my old seri puteri hm (whose hubby worked in the same ministry as kak sham), and being a good seri puterian (hehehe) i went up to her and salamed her. she inquired where i m teaching...yadda yadda...and told me to better myself yadda yadda...

the highlight of the day - when apit called ayi to sing. my god...that was an experience. hehehe i'll say no more. and then my brothers in law abg najib and abg zainal started singing as well!!

then the guests went home, and we watched ayi and rafi open their wedding gifts. abg mi was teasing asha (thank god he didnt tease me anymore. it's a horrifying experience), and suddenly kak sham gave a very shocking statement...which made me squirm in my seat (and wished that there was a hole in which i could sink into). and suddenly i was in hot seat, as all eyes were on me, and abg mi started asking me questions. which i couldnt answer to. 7 years ago i would have loved to be in this situation, would have loved for abg mi to ask me that direct question. but things changed. i've matured.

ayi asked "how come i didnt know anything?". i told him "you were oblivious to everything".

Bekwah

for those who dont have the slightest inkling of what bekwah is, it's the terengganu dialect for having a feast, or in today's world, it'll be known as holding a reception. it's our turn to hold the wedding reception for ayi.

so yesterday, when i arrived in kelana jaya, the work began. the eggs were boiled, n then there's the job of putting the eggs into the bunga telur. the canopies were set up, white and purple (purple is the theme colour). family members dropped by to help as well, kak dah and nana, kak ah and janna, abang, dian and their son idlan who provided entertainment.this morning, we helped to dress the chairs, the florist decorated the arch with fresh white gerberas and purple mums and we're just waiting for the caterers to come. yours truly is the egg distributor *sigh*. more news to come.

Post Val

i mentioned b4 that i'm a sucker for romance...a romantic at heart. always thot i'd find another kindred spirit (read that to mean a romantic freak). well, that's only a wish.

consider, for instance, my conversation with shaggy bear on valentine's day

nora: are you going out tonite?
shaggy: yeah, i'm going out for drinks with frens. why?
nora:there's a romantic movie on astro. i want u to watch it. (note to readers:the movie mentioned was a walk in the clouds - my fav, acted by my fav actor keanu reeves. gorgeous, darling .... gorgeous)
shaggy: (making unpronounceable noises, therefore unprintable) you know how i feel about romantic movies.
nora: so you dont want to watch a romantic movie with me?
shaggy: if you want to watch one, i'll buy you a ticket, then i'll fetch you when you're done.

yes. an ultra romantic with an ultra practical. my fren sarina told me that she understands what i'm going through. in fact, all women do. this is exactly why the author of Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars, made a lot of money. men dont understand the need to be romantic (except during the early days of courtship n you know what).

we, however, have been fed with all the romance, thanks to film industry, fairy tales and thrashy romance novels. the idea of a knight in shining armour (or may be a handsome rich man in BMW) who will rescue his damsel in distress...yadda yadda yadda... so we have dashing rhett butler rescuing scarlet o'hara... ralph macchio doing his karate to rescue his japanese girlfriend in the karate kid, mark darcy who falls for bridget jones...

and then there's the romances by julie garwood and judith mcnaught (i only read the latter's novels) and also the late dame barbara cartland, who always wrote about dashing handsome rich men rescuing destitute beautiful girls. i used to love reading her all-too romantic novels. anyway the late Dame and i have something in common - we both love pink.

and fairy tales. sleeping beauty (waiting for a handsome prince to kiss her. nowadays it'll be a long deep slumber...and a long wait for the kiss). and snow white (in today's world, she would have died of poison first), cinderella (the prince charming might end up with some other girls who dont have pretty dainty feet that can fit the glass slippers, but someone with big boobs).
i suppose i should train shaggy to give me roses (which is highly unlikely) or chocolates (doubtful as well). or may be i should not overromanticise things.*sigh*. but then, i guess that's why i'm an ultra romantic and he's an ultra practical. life will be dull without the other. what's tom cruise's famous lines? "you complete me".

Love Is comic

i'm a sucker for romance. eversince i was a little girl i dreamed of being swept off my feet by a dashing man who would give me roses n shower me with all the attention. hmmm....

almost 10 years ago, there was a cartoon strip featured in NST. it only occupied a tiny space, n it's called love is comic, bcoz everyday they'd feature 2 cartoon characters - a boy n a girl, in love, n the cartoonist would give a wise adage abt love. for example, "love is... meeting your match". at that time, i would cut this cute cartoon strip everytime i bought NST.

last nite, as i was writing the blog, i was reminded of this cartoon strip, n after rummaging thru' my drawers, i found my collection of the cartoon strips. i wanted to send some to shaggy bear. i wondered if they had it on the net...n i found it! so for those of u who would like to feel that warm feeling when u view the comic, pls visit this url http://www.comicspage.com/comicspage/main.jsp?file=20050922cplis-a-p.jpg&refresh_content=1&component_id=3&custid=69&catid=1450&dir=%2Floveis

Ayi's Wedding

it was a happy family occasion last friday nite n saturday afternoon. the room downstairs (which used to be gina's) was converted into the bridal chamber, n the hantarans were all in purple. ayi was getting married. n yet he was still attached to pc n japanese animae. ayi as a married man? hmmmmm.

he felt the wedding jitters as we searched a white rose for his suit lapel. "i'm getting married! i'm scared!" he was yelling in the car to gina n i, n at the same time making unpronounceable noises. that nite, ayi looked different in his akad nikah baju melayu.... his face? like someone abt to stand in trial in court. my eldest nephew abang n my fav bro abg mi were teasing him all the way. at 9, we the tray bearers bore the heavy tembaga trays (including me) n the family made way to rafi's house which is less than 5 mins drive.

on the akad nikah carpet, ayi looked very tense, i've never seen him like that b4 . i was trying to snap some pics of him reciting the akad to kadi, but this idiotic photographer was blocking the view n practically hovered over ayi. anyway, ayi had to only recite only once, n it was considered as valid.

the bersanding was held the next day. we were greeted by the beatings of kompang, n bcoz of this we had to walk at a stately pace (which i hate). the theme colour was green...so we had the newlyweds in green, green dais, green bunga telur, green table skirts.... there's tepung tawar ceremony, n urs truly was also invited to honour the newlyweds with the sprinkling of air mawar n the potpourri.

then it was feast time. we were having fun eating as we kept asking apit to get us dishes at the main table, so we got the prawns n the fish n the quail's eggs n the fruit salad n the jelly.... the only thing that spoiled my appetite was the sound of dangdut songs.....*sigh* y cant they play anuar zain's ballads?

as i'm writing this, ayi n rafi r on their honeymoon... will see them again this saturday for the menyambut menantu.... this time our family will be in lilac ensemble.

10 things about teachers

some frens told me that i look like a teacher. geez, is the word "teacher" stamped on my forehead? y dont i look like a model? (haha that's a laugh). anyway, i was thinking abt this entry when i was in the staffroom, actually, everytime when i'm sitting down writing my lesson plans n not inspiring the students with inspirational talk (nagging).

anyway, this is an attribute to all the teachers, eventhough teachers' day is 3 months away.

You're a teacher when...

1. giving orders are like second nature to you, since you're used to bossing the students around.

2. you feel the impulsive need to correct a mistake.

3. you have ink marks (esp. red ink) on your favourite kebayas and handbags.

4.you become simultaneously the parent, the sister/brother, the teacher, the counsellor, the motivator, the clerk, the driver, the ceti... and still the ministry is thinking of instructing the teachers to do in school assessment for the public examinations...what have we been doing, partying?

5. you dont believe that they are just looking innocently at the student's paper next to them during exam...

6. you have to mark exam papers even outside school hours, most of the time during the holidays, and without extra pay. no OT is allowed.

7. you have to sit for some @$#@%$^% exams to be promoted (and you begin to wonder why they gave you scholarship to do masters if you're going to be stuck at the same grade until you pass the exam)

8. you memorise all the dates for school hols and major hols to escape from the mayhem.

9.the students still call you teacher or cikgu even when they've left school.

10. the only reward you want from your students is for them to pass the exams with flying colours

A Productive Day

i think eversince i studied abt how a national identity is created, i began to have this conscious thought abt our own national identity, n how to actually practise this spirit of togetherness, which is the central of our national identity - to unify the 3 major races. most ppl take it for granted, that just bcoz we live in a multi-racial country, we're tolerant ppl. not really. we have to actively involve ourselves in the process of enunciating the culture of togetherness (sorry, i'm talking literature stuff again, stuff that i write in my dissertation).

well anyway, wat i'm trying to say is that since this is CNY, we should do our bit in being true malaysians n celebrate the other celebrations with our frens. i went to some open houses yesterday n today. i went to my former literature student's house yesterday, which is near to my house. wat is interesting is that her father is an indian while her mother is a chinese, n therefore my student has the best of both cultures. i had a nice time talking to her parents, n seeing the former students congregating at the house. her mother n i hit if off so well that i stayed for 2 n a half hours, talking everything from recipes to her son's exchange programme to italy.

today i made 2 visits. one to a teacher who just returned fr performing haj, n who is close to me in school. we talked abt her experience n wat has been going on in school while she's gone. the other teacher is ah chooi, my partner in the staffroom. when i arrived at ah chooi's apartment, i met 2 other spm examiners who r in my team, n another SS teacher arrived.
so to sum it all, i ate a lot.

n right after coming back fr ah chooi's house, i started to walk in the house. then kak dah started asking wat would we want to have for tea. suddenly i had this idea of making either scones or muffins, but nana preferred scones, probably she remembered the one we had in the cafe of the cattle farm in australia. so i made some apple cinnamon scones, with syahirah trying to help, n kak dah making cucur bawang. as we're cooking, my 2 nephews, helmi n joe came. langkah kaki kanan, i told them. so it was a sumptious spread of tea, a mixture of eastern n western dishes - japanese cheesecake, scones with butter n jams, strawberries, cucur bawang, keropok lekor goreng n hot tea n cold lemonade.

yes i felt guilty. i didnt eat a lot tho'. so to make me feel better, i thot of washing n waxing my car, which i hadnt done in almost 2 years. so there i was, in my long caftan, trying to sponge the roof of my car (n barely made it). at the same time fluffy went missing again, n like kak dah said that's y we have a peribahasa alim2 kucing.

finally, i finished waxing n vacuuming, n caught fluffy. had a productive day today. but still havent finished marking the TOV papers

'Tis the season for tying knots

the whole family has been talking abt nothing else but ayi's wedding which is going to be held on the 2nd weekend of Feb. everyone has been told to wear something lilac, n my lilac ensemble should be ready on the 8th. i'm one of the tray bearers, which is reserved for the anak dara only... just now kak sham called, she sounded distressed, since ayi has been transferred to kemaman clinic n did i know anything abt it? eh? he comes back home...he leaves for work... that's all. he didnt tell me anything.

n while all this happened, i received an sms fr the eldest sis in law last nite - surprise of all surprise, yaya, the quiet n laid back yaya, is getting engaged to a dietitian he met during the courses...hmm this is really a shocker...they're going to meminang n at the same time for bertunang at the girl's aunt's house in shah alam... kak mah asked the siblings to join the entourage...which kak sham n abg mi responded positively.

well let's hope there'll be another news, which i think will also shock the whole family. i'll say no more.

Another Chapter... n Passion in Life

today we had cross-country race at school. i was one of the pencatat masa (the task given from day 1 i'm in SS until the day i m transferred... like all SS teachers wrily put it, to quote SS's song, "tradisi kekal abadi"). some students, esp. the athletes, who r mostly the big boys in form 5, were still strong after the 5km run... some just collapsed at the lanes provided. most decided to do some sight seeing, and arrived much much later. we the teachers had jamuan (the first for 2006, to be followed by another jamuan on 1st Feb in my staffroom) of nasi minyak n sate, n i told myself i have to walk for at least 1 hour today...

sazi's email (sazi, i dont know if i can reveal ur new show, so to be on the safe side, i'm not going to reveal anything) made me think of my late eldest bro, of everything he presented, n the life he led. this again, makes me think of wat life means to each of us.

life is short n precious, we heard this often enough, but do we know wat it really entails? we go thru life like zombies, waking up, going to work, beat the rush hour, eat, coming back fr work, rush hour again, spending a few hours with loved ones, then sleep. n we go thru this again n again...until we ask ourselves "is this all there is to life???".

Life is how we make it. it is we who shape our lives. that means we have the power to choose to be who we r. to be the best that we can be, to be a human with good conscience n a good heart - which is the very basis of our National Education Philosophy (hey, give me a break, i'm a teacher after all).

My eldest brother was the product of Malaysian Dream, of a newly-independent nation struggling to find its own niche n identity, still in its infancy. he was the proof that we could achieve greatness. he was born during Japanese Occupation n spent his infant years during the British bombing n was already in MCKK when Tunku Abdul Rahman uttered the famous cry. my late father was very very young when he had my brother, still in his teens. he was a man with visions, he knew that my late brother could succeed, n so he tutored my brother mathematics at home after work, often with a cane in hand. at 10 years old, my brother sat for a special exam that would enable him to enter MCKK, n he passed. thus, the boy who would later change a lot of doctors' lives went to malaysia's oldest n prestigious boarding school.
my brother loved to read. even when he became the senior physician, he still read medical journals, n kept abreast with the latest medical breakthroughs. this scholarly habit of his helped him through his studies n career.

after becoming a medical specialist, he lectured at UKM, n one of his students now is a successful n rich doctor here in KTrg. as a lecturer, he's torn between upholding the high standard of medicine in tertiary level n passing the students. his insistence in maintaining the highest standard could be seen throughout his career. he then moved to Klang hospital... n later to Kelantan, where he was affectionately known to all doctors n nurses alike as "Bos Aziz". when i asked my nephew yaya y is it that my late bro never turned to private sectors where he could become very rich, yaya answered that my brother felt it's his duty to stay in government hospital to educate the young doctors on wat he knows.

my late brother, datuk dr sidek@ abdul aziz b muhammad, was laid to rest on 30th april 2000. he died in his office after a heart failure, with his close medical attendant beside him, who later met me during the funeral n said "he's a good man".

my brother lived his life according to wat he believed in. he could have chosen fame n glory, but he chose the less glamourous life, to render his service to the society.

initially, i said that life is abt making choices. some may choose to have a life of luxury, some strive to have such a life, but to wat ends? it's not fulfilling just to have all those BMWs n Mercedes or that penthouse...wat will be more satisfying is when u've done something out of your own good heart, for the benefit of the mankind, without dreaming of fortune, fame n glory. wat is important is that inner peace inside u. that is wat u called a rich n meaningful life.