temptation

islam says that womenfolk have 9 lusts. i dont know whether this is a boon or a bane, but after today's episode, i think that it's going to be a bane to my purse.

it all started a few days ago, when i received my RM625 rebate. i was thinking of the turquoise i bought in Mekah, and it's high time that i have it set on a ring. so i asked my colleague to ask her hubby (he is a goldsmith) to fashion a ring for me. okay, that will cost me roughly RM500.

then i remembered that i have a piece of kain tenun terengganu with bunga songket bertabur, and i was thinking of getting a piece of silk from Suterasemai (let's just say i'm proud to wear terengganu's locally produced fabrics). the pink woven silk and woven cloth with bunga songket bertabur
i went with my friend shima. the problem began when i was greeted with bolts and bolts of silk in vibrant colours and also soft hues. a girl can get crazy there, it's like being lost in a candy store. and instead of buying a piece of pink silk for the top, i ended up buying 3 pieces!! the blue woven silk and the checked woven silk

and suterasemai silk isnt cheap.... *sigh* but then how can you say no to such gorgeous colours? i told shima i m not going to follow her to the shop again on saturday....better to stay away from costly temptation and to start saving.

ah, temptations, temptations!!

p.s. to ina, the suterasemai HQ is at Chendering (that's where i went) and there's a shop in town at jalan air jernih called suteraemas. the silk is around RM70 per metre and it's dry clean only.

why red poppies?

why indeed? before answering, does anyone know Wordsworth's "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud"?

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,

okay, "gay" in Wordsworth's time means to be happy, so dont get any ideas, guys. Well, when i studied this poem during my TESL days, i wondered how he felt like, and how could a male poet be so mesmerised over some yellow flowers.

Until i saw the red poppies at the English and French countryside last year. i think they are more vibrant than the yellow daffodils. imagine, seeing a carpet of red poppies, bobbing their heads when the wind was blowing.

Unfortunately though, we cannot plant poppies here, no matter how many times we try to convince the authority that this is only an ornamental plant, and that we have no hidden agenda.

i didnt take pics of the flowers though, but like Wordsworth, they are forever in my mind.

buzzzz busy bee

i forgot that July is a busy month for the teachers here. as usual, everything was told to us at the very last minute, from school level camp to the district level camp. i do not like this very unprofessional attitude, we're supposed to drop everything and just become the facilitator to a camp, even though we' re told 4 hours before our slot began. not professional at all.

yes, i received a phone call yesterday. and i do not like to be told at the eleventh hour. so i did what i always do when i'm among family members or with my old time friends. i yelled in the staffroom in frustration. which shocked everybody, actually. then i found out that i was supposed to be the committee member on duty today, which meant i had to be there before 8. and i have literature class at 10. so that meant i stayed at school for 4 hours on a friday. and tomorrow is a school day *sigh*

Trip to Alor Setaq

my friend Kak Emah had extended the invitation to visit her in her hometown for so long, in fact ever since she moved to alor setar early this year. i had the occasion to visit her this weekend, as terengganu is celebrating Sultan Mizan's birthday today.

i arrived in Alor Setar on a wet Friday morning, and Kak Emah cooked some nasi lemak lemuni and told me it's a healthier version. her mother told her to bring me to lots of places (which we didnt go, opting for shopping instead) then we went to pasar panjang, aptly named because it covered the entire stretch of road.

in the evening, i had the chance to eat fruits at the fruit orchard, as kak emah brought me to kuala nerang, where we picked rambutans from her family friend's orchard. i could easily reach the rambutans, and ate them. then we headed to her relative's house, who also had a fruit orchard of duku and durians. i dont care much for duku, but ate my fill of durian, including pulut and durian with coconut milk. the relatives were a nice couple, they kept telling me i could ask for a transfer to the school near their home. anyway, it was a very tiring day, and with mangosteens, cempedak and rambutans we headed back. once we reached kak emah's house, after prayers, we slept. didnt have dinner at all.

on saturday morning i had a breakfast of thosai, which i think has more character than chapati. kak emah showed me her school which is going to celebrate the centennial celebration next week, istana anak bukit (which is more majestic looking than istana badariah and has Siamese influence in the decor; but then again, terengganu royalty doesnt like to show off so that's a relief) and everything else in alor setar. which is of course, much bigger than KT.

in the afternoon, we made a trip to Padang Besar. i left my passport in the suitcase so we didnt cross the border. on our way there, we had to pass a sugar cane plantation and the view was fantabulous, it felt like we're in the english countryside, on a wheatfield. we arrived at the bazaar and stalls where thais talked in that sing-a-song voice. still, in the 1 hour that we were in Padang Besar, i bought a bag, 1 shirt, 2 blouses and some souvenirs.

to go anywhere with kak emah, one has to understand that plans can be changed, and time isnt fixed. that also means that she'll cut the time so close u'll be very anxious. we reached her house from Padang Besar at 8.50. i had 15 minutes to shower, pray, dress, pack all my stuff and dash to the bus station.

i enjoyed my weekend tremendously, but the best has yet to come. on the east-west highway at around 2am, we saw 2 elephants and a baby elephant, on the side of the road. this are real mccoy creatures, not some tame elephants in the zoo. so i was thankful that i could see those gentle creatures.

and that's the end of the story.

Surprise!!!!

i was waiting for my Literature girls to turn up for their class at 8. so in the meantime, i opened the drama text of An Inspector Calls. i read the dialogues, scribbled some notes, and also made a mental note that they're supposed to finish Act 2 tonight.

suddenly Maryam called and apologised saying that since she's going to be in the classic mini cooper, she'd be late.

oh well, i thought, that should be okay then.

8.20pm. still no sign of them. i heard the roar of the car engine, but no soul could be seen outside.that's odd. where were they? or was it a figment of my imagination?
8.35pm. still no sign of them.
8.45pm there was a knock on the door, and Shahirah (who dropped the subject) was there with a troubled look and said "teacher, i've a problem. i want to take literature"

i was horrified. my first thought was, God, do i have the time to teach her in time for SPM?? it's less than 4 months away to SPM... as all these thoughts were swimming in my head, she said "teacher, there's something in your eye. close your eyes first".

the next thing i knew when i opened my eyes were the Literature girls, and Amanina the debater shouting "Surprise!!!!" with a birthday cake and candles that refused to blow out. and they sang me the birthday song in front of the door. i was really touched. they even told me that my LCDS president Jim and v.president Suveen wanted to join but they had some other matters to attend to.

and so the 5 girls and i were happily eating the cake, and exchanging stories.

i had a lovely time tonight.

and they never did finish Act 2.

Had A Bad Day

ever since i got mad for paying a lot for a small piece of chicken at the school canteen, i ve been avoiding the canteen when it's time for lunch. which means, i bring cooked lunch from home. which means, i'm always late for school.

today of all days, i was super duper late, since i cooked sambal tumis udang, and i made sure there was nothing in the kitchen sink. as usual, i was speeding ... and asked my fren to do me a favour. but trouble started as soon as i reached school, because the madam upstairs and her underling were waiting, and to make it worse, the underling had a camera (what's this? trying to punish the teachers? i d give him a piece of my mind should he ever do that). i know that probably i'm blacklisted, but never mind, sometimes it doesnt pay to be in a good school if you're damn stressed. i guess i'll ask for that transfer.

to make it even worse, i had a slight problem regarding some reading cards. i was near to my wit's end thinking about it. so stressed was i that i immediately took a nap after i reached home.

tomorrow s another battle. please god give me the strength to stay sane.

Rabindranath Tagore's poem

taken from The Gardener (1913)

You are the evening cloud floating in the sky of my dreams.
I paint you and fashion you ever with my love longings.
You are my own, my own, Dweller in my endless dreams!

Your feet are rosy-red with the glow of my heart's desire,
Gleaner of my sunset songs!
Your lips are bitter-sweet with the taste of my wine of pain.
You are my own, my own, Dweller in my lonesome dreams!

With the shadow of my passion, i have darkened your eyes, Haunter
of the depth of my gaze!
I have caught you and wrapt you, my love, in the net of my music.
You are my own, my own, Dweller in my deathless dreams!

O What A Day!

yesterday was the last day the group met. we had vegetarian nasi lemak, courtesy of one of the members, and talk about Indian food and culture was plenty, even amidst our discussion. i like indian food as well, i think it has character and is earthy, if compared to some other dishes.

and during one of our discussion "detours", one of the members had this brilliant member - hey, why not we have a trip to India? her idea was accepted instantaneously with so much excitement and comments, including yours truly. ooh, to see Taj Mahal!! i can just imagine the whole group, talking excitedly about food. we're all culture vultures and definitely foodies, which is really a bonus. i do believe that to travel you must have companions who have a lot of things in common with you, if not, you'll not enjoy the trip.

later on that day, i met up with mozie and splurged at Mark & Spencer. don't ask how much i spent. it's excruciating just to talk about it. we later had lunch (and i, as usual, ate indian influenced dish).

later i had to rush home to fetch mother to go for tahlil at kak sham's house. i thought we could beat the jam, instead, we were caught in it. and what's worse, it's a friday. took us 1 hour to cross the city to get to PJ.

and now, i'm back at home. on my way back, i started missing my family and friends. i guess i should start applying for the transfer then.

my birthday

and so i turned 35 yesterday. early in the morning my group sang me the birthday song, which could be heard by the other groups.

my nieces treated me to dinner at my favourite restaurant, chilli's. we were starving that we ate and ate. no cake though, didnt have any space in my tummy for that.

so of course, how does it feel like to be a year older?

a bit wiser, of course, but that also means that i do stupid things from time to time and i never learn from mistakes. there is happiness but also disappointment, there's a smile and yet there's a tear.

but most important of all, i've learnt and still learning and i've lived and still living because of the grace of God.

the week so far

i'm here in KL, suffering from emotional eating, thanks to our annual gathering, which means work, work and more work. i'm eating under a lot of stress, plus munching keeps the eyes awake (though not necessarily means the brain is awake too)

after the shocking news that shook the entire family clan and threw one of the family members into the unwanted limelight; my family has more or less, settled with what's been happening. as usual, i'm not going to spend time on this, as i do not want to invite any unnecessary and unsavoury comments from bloggers.

there's not much to write, since i'm concentrating on the meeting, perhaps i'll write again after a few days.

the cyber in-thing?

honestly, i cant keep track with all these cyber trends anymore. a decade ago, to have one's own homepage was enough. i still have mine, floating somewhere in the cyber space, forgotten i guess. then 6 years ago my fren fai told me about blogging. didnt have a clue about it until she introduced me to mymesra blog.

and now, a friendster and 3 blogs later, i was introduced to facebook, the so -called in thing right now (please dont tell me there's another craze, because honestly, i cant keep up!). i couldnt be bothered at first, because i thought it's silly and childish. really, sending louis vuitton bags and diamonds to frens? i wouldnt mind it if they give it for real (yeah right, dream on!!). my frens list grew, and so did my list of frens gift requests. as of last nite, i had accumulated 106 requests. my fren shidah told me that i'm not a good fren if i dont like facebook. i told her i've different ways of showing how i can be a good fren, but not through sending cyber chocolates or bunnies.

however, my frens list includes my tesl and seri puteri frens, esp. my seri puteri frens, some whom i havent seen since we left school. i guess it's a good way to reunite with frens. so here i am, accepting requests for the last few hours and still, i've some 40 requests left.

the calm after the storm

today mr tan asked me "eh i thought u're taking an MC today?"

yeah well, i thought so too. had migraine in the morning to prove it. or may be it's just PMS...plus the 2 weeks full of mayhem.

the storm has subsided. the lcds camp is over, the school's annual camp is over (oh yeah, with some interesting story), the debate is over (we lost to sultan ismail, our traditional rival in debate for years) and today i made an appointment to go to the spa.... until

"nora, pasal creative writing tu".... began one of the four ladies upstairs.

"kejap kak nor....petang ni saya nak pegi spa dulu, esok kita cakap pasal creative writing ye"

*groan* they HAD to spoil my day. it was decreed by the madam upstairs that for creative writing in english project (led by moi, because we're a cluster school and so we should show our talents in writing?), all students must write a creative essay in class next week.

soon in the afternoon i skipped happily to the spa. no, of course not...i did not skip. but it was a soothing and relaxing time for me. footbath...massage...facial...ah...it's nice to pamper oneself. i hadnt felt that relaxed for quite some time. may be i should do this on a monthly basis....

The Retro is in

background music: Abba's Thank You for the Music

during the LCDS annual camp in cheneh i was inspired by Shukri's john travolta's famous boogey dance in Saturday Night Fever. he danced to the tune of Bee Gee's Staying Alive. hey, how about using the 70s as the theme for the annual dinner?

i know some of the members are not too happy, i could have chosen the 80s, since the trend seems to be going back to that era, but i think the 70s era is interesting. where else can you find the era that had bell bottoms, platforms, maxis (not the telco, but the plural form of maxi) sideburns, afro hair, disco dancing, starsky and hutch, cagney and lacey, charlie's angels, abba, bee gees and boney m? by the way, i was a child of the 70s. i grew up listening to abba, bee gees and boney m. i watched starsky and hutch, cagney and lacey and charlie's angels. in malaysia that would be listening to hail amir and uji rashid, or sharifah aini with her long hair, and watching her act with latif ibrahim in a series of movies with "esok" as the titles - "tiada esok bagi mu" "esok masih ada" and god knows what else.

cant wait till the dinner. am going to have fun!

Busy, busy, busy

when i came back from umrah, i anticipated that i was going to be busy, what with the LCDS annual camp, and other school activities. but i never thought that once the school re-opened for the 2nd half of the year, i would be busy non-stop.

the LCDS annual camp was held a few days after the school re-opened. because of a public holiday and because our menteri besar declared one day as terengganu state holiday (since we won the SUKMA), my committee and i had less time to settle the last few things before we set off for the camp in cheneh. but we did good, the children looked smart in their LCDS t-shirts (i wore one too) we were off to cheneh. i anticipated that cheneh is a jin bertendang place (direct translation: where the djinn is kicking, meaning a remote area), and i expected it to be keras (haunted), but i dare say my students had fun, despite everything.

the place is nestled between hills and jungles and palm plantation. it's a big place, since it has a lake for kayaking, PLKN hostels and sites, obstacle course ground, a livestock nursery, the main office and the resort itself. the students only had to pay RM50 per head per day, and that covers 6 meals a day. plus, they got to sleep in air-conditioned room with water heater and tv (a joy for the soccer fans). after previous camps in tents, hostels, run-down chalets that looked like they were going to fall apart, this was a luxury. the president and the committee handled the activities, and they did this superbly. not many 17 year olds have such leadership abilities to handle societies, and so far none of the LCDS presidents has been a disappointment.

anyway, the manager of the resort and the guides told me some juicy stories about the place. despite the dread and the fear, the students love to listen to such stories. something did happen, but i'm not going to say anymore about this. besides the story of the spooky place, the students love to talk about a member who they find very interesting, but difficult to get close to, since the student's British accent is too dense for anyone to understand. what with the stories, the Anglo-malay student and the other sensational story, i'll bet the students will remember the camp till they reach the golden age.

as soon as i returned from the camp, other tasks awaited - personal favours, actually, from the "people upstairs". this is exactly why i always tell my students to do well in English, so that they will not bother other people when they have to write speeches when they grow up. at the same time, my head of panel was already hunting me for the literature in-house training *groan* and also about training the school debating team *double, triple groans*. after finishing the personal favours, i dived into training the debaters. by the end of the day i was so mentally tired as we had to think of possible POIs and answers to POIs.(postcript: we won the debate to qualify for the inter-district level, beating SMK Chung Hwa Wei Sin and SMKA Sheikh Abdul Malek, our fellow cluster school. good work people!)

and today, i was in Sekayu, for our Annual Camp. not much work to be done, but all the teachers turned up in shifts, since it's our duty to be there, else the empress would be angry.


and so that concludes the rambling for the week.

Love, the blindfold

i told someone straight to the face that she's stupid to fall for her bf, because something bad happened to her. if i hadnt told her that in front of her bf, mishaps might happen. i was angry with the guy, i was also angry with her. but mostly with her. felt like shaking her and say "wake up!! face the reality!!"

but alas, she's blindfolded with this thing called love. what one will do for love. like pretending that everything is all right when you're being cheated. like pretending that he's the one when he doesnt even tell you his darkest secret. like telling yourself that you should believe him even though your guts tell you not to. like feeling confident that you can change a man (wrong!!). like making excuses for him, when there are no excuses. like letting him hit you, because you love him too much and you reason that you should accept him the way he is.

yes, this thing called love can blindfold you into making unwise decisions. but sometimes, only through tears can you learn to be stronger and wiser. hopefully you're still in one piece by that time.

the 4 ladies and Manhattan

Sex & the City fans will know from my title that i'm talking abt the movie. after 2 attempts in 1 day and 2 nights, i finally managed to watch the movie although i could hear the sound of a person eating popcorn and there was one time when i could hear the person burp! cant wait for the DVD to come out, since i'm not sure the censorship board will allow the movie to be screened in Malaysia.

what do i think of the movie? i think it's too short!!! haha 2 hours is a short time for a fan. it's good to see the 4 girls again - carrie, miranda, charlotte and samantha - they're all 4 different characters, but they're all such good friends, sharing the laughter and the tears. to those who dont know, carrie bradshaw (played by sarah jessica parker) is the main character, she has her own column in daily called sex and the city, in which she writes about her friends and their relationships with men. and no, despite the title, it is not a "legal" porno movie or tv series. what makes sex and the city endearing to all its fans is about the friendship shared by the 4 women, their problems with men, and fashion!! sarah jessica parker was the one who made manolo blahnik shoes famous worldwide, and the ensemble used in the show was incredible, as they're all designer clothes - so there's Chanel, Oscar de la Renta, Dior...to name a few. and for cupcake lovers, it was also sex and the city that made cupcakes famous.

some lines are very witty, and mostly, the women talk about real issues that real women face everyday - like betrayal, embarrassment, guilt, friendship, loyalty etc.

my favourite character is Charlotte York, played by Kristin Davis, the sweet naive socialite who believes that there is good in everybody. there is one scene when she tells Carrie that she "curse[s] Big from the day he was born". coming from charlotte, that is hilarious.

this is a chick flick, but a sophisticated chick flick, this has more class than the confessions of a shopaholic or other chick lit or movies, and women should watch this, to celebrate friendships, and ourselves - as women who take control of our lives.

Cookie is no more

earlier this year i bought a very cute Norwegian Forest, who looked like my old cat, Fluffy. Cookie was so cute, her round eyes just made me melt. and despite the steep price, i bought her. as any pedigree cat, she's well-behaved and was so adorable. a big hit with my students. and today, she was run over by a car. it was not done on purpose, i know. but i cant help feeling sad, because my cute Cookie is no more.

the journey home

background song: Crying Out for Me - Mario (R&B lovers would love this song)

i started the journey earlier, at 8.15am, hoping not to get migraine (wrong!). the sun was still hidden behind the clouds, it would have been 6am in mekah/madinah. my car was full of my stuff, 4 bags full of clothes, the zamzam tank, the dates, 4 pairs of new shoes, 2 new handbags and a small pot of sweet basil for my italian cooking. the petrol tank was not full, and the prospect of filling it again with petrol at a raised price just pained me. anyway, thank god for my car (which i'm not going to repeat the cap ayam or whatever since my seri puteri friend ina who's in Sudan, mentioned it in her email). KL roads were okay, the cars were moving smoothly. and when i reached Karak highway, the fun began.

i dont understand why male drivers feel challenged whenever a female driver overtakes them. a few drivers did that to me. oh well... i didnt want to feel stressed on the road so i just let them be. it's good to reach terengganu border, i was coming home. saw a few cars with the Daulat Tuanku stickers. yes, daulat tuanku! and it's even better to see the aquamarine sea, Kapas Island was visible from Kelulut. it was a hot afternoon, but as i reasoned it, it's not as hot as Mekah, so i was thankful. reached KT at 2pm, because i had to make a long detour (thanx to some road construction in Marang).

the journey home made it difficult for me to decide the next course of my life *sigh*

oil rush

every malaysian was waiting in anxiety for pak lah's announcement of the increased price of the petrol. my fren reminded me this as we were lepaking at the Coffee Bean last night. i saw some promuda emails regarding the issue as well, but i cant be bothered with the discussions by the members anyway... and today, while i was happily walking at the KLCC carpark after doing some damage to my pocket, my sister called me "fill up your petrol...the price increases by 70 sen after midnight". ye gads!! and i'm going back on friday!!! i have to fill the tank! at this time i thank god that honda city is a fuel saver.

and so i began my mad dash to my favourite petrol station. thank god for the elevated highway as i sped towards my sister's house (only 10 minutes to reach). which is next to the big petronas station, and i had to pass it to get to my fav station. you can just imagine the queue...it's like seeing big giant bees all congregating at one place for honey or something. and when i arrived at Mobil, the attendant made a sign that says that there's no petrol, but i bet they're reserving it. so i had to make another one round.... and go through the traffic jam again to reach petronas station. had to wait for another half an hour before i reached the petrol pump. at this time, drivers become kiasu, resulting in more jam...at the station itself, as cars are stuck, and cannot exit the station. even as i'm typing this, i can hear the humming sound of the car engines as they're all queueing up to fill the petrol and it's already 10pm.

i guess we should consider cycling to work instead of driving cars. this has been done in London, where i remember seeing men in suits and helmets cycling with knapsacks strapped on their backs. and it's been practised in other Western cities as well, but there's the malaysian weather to consider. it's not as hot as mekah though...

hmm which reminds me of a book i read abt the armageddon/qiamat... the prophecy says of a time when there will be no more petrol...and humankind will go back to using beasts as a norm of transportation...

the bekwahs and the trip to kinokuniya

yesterday my nephew didi held his wedding reception at his maternal grandparents house in Bangsar. it's nice to see him happy with his bride, surrounded by the 2 families. wish my late bro datuk dr aziz was alive to see his son. i could imagine him smiling and making comments, or begin an intellectual discussion about the field of medicine. my bro in law Abg Najib n my fav. bro Abg Mi
Abg Mi's daughter Julia n his wife Kak Madiha
my 2 nephews Dr Badrul n Dr Azri, with their sons


today my brother the other Datuk held a wedding reception for his 2nd son.
Helmi & Fauziah
the family turned up early (except for my fav bro who had to attend another wedding first). since my brother loves to tinker with things, he has no problem in finding PA system as he already has one, with big speakers. the only thing i dont like is i had to listen to malay songs the whole day as the bridegroom instructed his bro to play only malay songs.

my sis in law, my niece and i were busy looking at VIP wives' handbags and shoes (as women usually do), while fanning ourselves as we ushered the guests in. my fav bro finally arrived, along with his family including arshad zamir who was over the moon when i told him one of my students sent her regards to him.

after the kenduri, i decided to stay over at my sister's house in ampang. stopped at KLCC along the way to find the text of The Lion and the Jewel at Kinokuniya, as it is imperative that i get hold of it a.s.a.p. for those who are not in the know, kinokuniya has the best and widest selection of literary texts (serious lit stuff) so it's normal to find literature scholars scouring the racks. and so it was by pure chance that as i was standing at the counter asking if the text is available, a young lady was asking the staff to find books for her. and they're all literary texts. i asked

"are you studying or teaching literature?"
and she smiled brightly and answered "teaching, in UIA"

and so we started talking and discussed the requirements to become lit lecturer in UIA...bla bla bla...and then we started talking about postcolonial literature (that we both specialise in)...yadda yadda yadda...and then i found out the text that i was looking for was not available and that if i place an order, i'd get it in a month. a month??? that's already too late! and seeing my dismay, my newfound friend volunteered to search for the text and send a copy to me. thank god!

the moral of the story? help comes from unexpected quarters.