i spent the last few minutes of 2005 with shaggy bear on the phone, n it was a far cry than last year's new year. he later went off to watch his beloved soccer team play. men!
2006. i never even made any new year resolutions. i think resolutions r overrated really. i hate ppl asking others that...as if there's nothing else to ask when the new year is approaching.
if there's one aspect i wish to improve myself in, it's my heart n soul. last week i had a chat with As, my specialist fren. we hadnt talked in months, but we have something in common (which i cant mention yet). she said she's tired of the rat race, earning money just to maintain the roof for shelter n to make sure there's food in her belly. she told me of how our fren, anne, who's a chemical engineer, met them (the seri puteri girls) in sempoi clothes, not bothering abt her unmade face hence not conforming to the patriarchal society's unwritten rules abt women . but anne looked serene. her secret? she doesnt let the problems bother her.
wat good will it do us if we live in a mansion n drive a mercedes if we dont feel at peace? wat good will it do us if we have to go that extra mile just to maintain the lifestyle? y keep a lifestyle we cant afford?
y do we fight n find faults with others? y do we judge ppl when we're not perfect ourselves? n if we know that we're not perfect, y do we punish n label that person? n y do we spread our dissatisfaction of the person to other ppl? for all u know, that person isnt even aware that he makes a mistake. for all u know, ppl end up not only having a bad perception of the person u just !@#$% abt, they also will judge u. this, i talk fr experience. somebody close to me (not shaggy bear of course) has misjudged me for some crime i didnt know i commit n punished me by not speaking to me. may be she forgot our relationship, n who's supposed to respect who. watever wrong i did, i'm sorry. if it's abt money, i tried to rectify it, but may be she didnt see it. n although i can feel the unwelcome air, i still come to her house, hoping that somehow bcoz of the ties that bind us, everything will be as right as snow again. n each time, despite my optimism, i can still read the silent language.
as my fren told me, u cant please everybody. yes, that's true. wat u think is the best might not be so to another person. u have to learn to respect other person's choices (tho in 2005 i was very outspoken on religious issues, n i will continue to do so...sorry, no compromise on that) that u cant be too proud until u lose friendship or the admiration of a closed person. bcoz we live in a society, n there will come a time when we need help from the others."no man is an island" so says John Donne.
the best way to live a happy, simple life... is to forgive n forget. but in order to do so, we must remind ourselves that we r not judges to determine whether the other person is guilty or innocent, that that person is just a human, just as we r humans who're not perfect. after all, anger n pride aside, there's no one but us....
