my ex missed call me twice yesterday. i dont know why he's doing this, but it's really @#@$%ing me off. anyway, he succeeded in communicating with me. and told me why he called. he was looking for a redemption and hoping that i would forgive him. hmmph...i said i cant. after what he did to me, i just cant.
nina told me that i've to learn how to forgive. yes i know, to forgive is divine, but at the moment i dont feel charitable. what i feel right now is wrath towards him. that's the surface of my sea of emotions, the mask that i wear. but i know that underneath it, some twenty thousand leagues under the sea is just deep deep anguish that i do not wish to feel and hope to ignore. this is the hardest part of the process - to endure. it's even harder when all my frens r in kl while i'm here. but then i still survive.
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