back at home

i spent the weekend at kak dah's house in bukit mahkota. i appreciate her inviting me to the house, as i m glad to be surrounded by people. it's like a retreat there, because of the quiet tranquility (well, it is in the middle of nowhere) and the breeze.

we had a family tahlil yesterday at my bro's house. i ordered some creampuffs from the teacher at my school, and as i was about to open my purse to pay her, she said "tak payah, it's free." i couldn't believe my ears, and this is a true testimony that we cant be cynics as kindness can be found anywhere.

so up to sg buluh we went, and waited for the rest of the family members to arrive. we then started our tahlil before zohor, with lil adam to entertain us as we were reciting yaasin. i missed lil adam, and was looking forward to seeing him yesterday. he was the apple of my mother's eye in the last of her days, and so when i asked him where "boyang" was, he answered "boyang kat rumah cokelat". which was quite strange and a bit disconcerting, because we figured out that rumah cokelat is the coffin, but nobody told the 2 year old that his boyang isnt around anymore.

well, after the tahlil was the great feast, and i m happy to report that the creampuffs were the first to finish.

abang najib told me to stay on at bukit mahkota but i realised that i need to face my demon and start living on my own again. yesterday i had sazi coming over to the house, and we talked about life until 10.30 pm.

yes, life goes on as usual. but now i celebrate the human compassion that we all have in us. it is the one thing that makes life bearable when you're grieving (aside from prayers, tasbih and doa).