The Buka Puasa with Nephews n Nieces

(pls click on the title to view pics in facebook)
it has been a tradition for my family that the younger generation would go out during raya and bond with each other. it is a fun thing to do, since most of the cousins don't see each other that often until we congregate for raya. past gatherings were done at various places including pizza hut, starbucks, and at pantai batu buruk (at night). when attending the gathering i always get this warm fuzzy feeling of familiness and togetherness, just like in the song Family Reunion by The Ojays, from Madea's Family Reunion OST.

It's so nice to see
All the folks you love together
Sittin' and talkin' 'bout
All the things that's been goin' down

this year, we had it earlier - in the form of a buka puasa at my place. actually, i didn't really volunteer to be the host, it was "volunteered" by a niece on my behalf who said that it'd be a good idea to buka puasa at my place. *sigh* actually they wanted to have OM burger at ampang jaya after the buka puasa...

Lina requested that i made tiramisu, and i really reduced the amount of sugar so that it tasted just nice. i even scraped the sugar topping off from the spongefingers. the cleaning lady came as usual, but the cleanliness of the newly mopped floor was marred when i was carrying the mix fruit cordial and the handle came off, splashing the orange liquid content everywhere *sigh* thank god lina was there. we then went to find ayam pusing, but didn't find any at ampang jaya so at last we bought 2 roasted chickens at maxvalu. it was nice to have people in the house, i didn't mind one bit when my nephew in law romy slept on the carpet (his favourite pastime is to sakat me, because we're of the same age. he can be annoying at times). then i made padprik, and later Abg Aziz's children came (inas, nana, atie and hudai), then farah & yusri and abang & dian. not many attended, granted, but we had fun and there was a lot of laughter the whole night. abang's guffaws were very much distinct. the main topic was facebooking, and from a comment about how abang posted the trailer to old tv shows like the fantasy island, little house on the prairie, set us all in a long discussion, while some proclaimed to be younger because they couldn't remember all these, while those who could were older.

then it was buka puasa time. even then they still had time to sakat me, as i bought paper plates and they complained how the fragile plates could collapse under the weight of the food. i was even sent to maxvalu to buy more drinks as the drinks in the tong finished. after praying, we still talked and talked, with frequent trips to the buffet table.

in the end we're all stuffed. really. i archly asked abang if he still wanted the OM burger. the answer was no. and so at 11 pm last night, after a night of food orgy, the buka puasa ended.

it's tiring, but a nice one. we came up with a conclusion that we've become more "matured" over the years as now the gatherings are done at our houses instead of eating out.

Reminiscing

today i woke up with a lot of stuff in my head - to settle all my savings, to go to school to fill up my CRK form, to go to Tabung Haji yadda yadda yadda...then suddenly i remembered that today's 26th august. 18 years ago to this day, my father passed away. at 6pm to be exact.

my father was a good muslim. he taught me quran till i khatamed...and he made sure all his children have good education to become successful in life. in a way, he's a man with a vision long before Tun Dr Mahathir concoted Vision 2020.

i don't wish to talk about sad things here, i'm done with all the tears.

and so today, i made my way to Tabung Haji, fully aware that 26th august was my father's death anniversary. however, this time i went there to celebrate this day with something that would really make both my late parents happy - i finally registered to go for hajj, in 2027 although i plan to go much much much earlier via hajj packages instead of muasasah.

so alhamdulillah. i can imagine my late father smiling at me, just like he smiled at me in his white robe when he visited me in my dream 18 years ago.

The First Day

well... i survived the first day of fasting without the usual bout of migraine - yay! i stayed at home today, enjoying the holidays, and i didn't even move the car out. the main reason being i didnt want to spend money buying unnecessary food.

i'm not going to list what i did for ibadah today, because i think that that will create takbur, don't you think? you don't shout out to all the people when you do something right, then it won't be sincere.

anyway, the next door neighbour is having his house renovated, so i can hear the sound of people hammering during daytime - which is irritating, because when you're trying to relax and take a nap all you hear is the plonk plonk sound on the wall. but today i slept through the noise. probably because i'm so used to sleeping with the sound of traffic at wee hours. the work being done also means that dust flies around, and unfortunately it chooses to settle on the floor and on my car!!! arrghh!! i actually gritted my teeth and kept quiet. no point scolding the workers.

anyway, today i wanted to eat something light and not greasy so i made tosai (with alagappa's instant tosai mix) to be eaten with my chicken curry. i don't like to eat dry desserts during Ramadhan so today i made bubur jagung, which is my perennial favourite. it's a good thing too that i didn't go to the bazaar.
1. i would have been disappointed with the taste and would think that it's better that i made on my own rather than wasting my money on something that is cheap and tasteless.
2. i hate to jostle with the crowd
3. i hate finding parking spaces, which unfortunately are not that many near the bazaar.

my late mother would have been proud of me because she couldn't understand why people like to eat out.

so there.

Ramadhan this year

i've been shying away from the blog for so long, not because of anything, but because of the tiredness i feel after coming back from the gym. trust me, when you've been on the treadmill and the cross trainer for more than 1 hour, you don't think of anything else after that (except for food and water, that is). and then you only think of your bed...

so back to my entry today.

my Ramadhan this year is different than the rest, simply because this is the first Ramadhan without my mother. i don't want to sound tragic or dramatic, but i miss all those days when she prepared the meals for iftar, and i miss the day when i would plop myself onto my parents bed and wait for her to unwrap our jewelleries for Hari Raya.

but life must go on.

now that all the little devils (i mean that literally) have been chained, it's a joy to be able to perform ibadah, and i hope that i'm a better muslimah than i was last year - and despite the fact that my parents have passed on, i still feel the need to make them feel proud of me, because i know that they are watching me, somewhere.

i've written this last year, especially after my return from umrah. that the journey of the soul is a self-discovery towards being pure. i can tell you that it is not easy. and i'm sure that all of you will agree. it's so easy to bitch about people, it's so easy not to care. it's so easy to feel that you're invincible, and that judgement will stall - at least for you, anyway.

Ask anyone and one will instantly associate Ramadhan with food bazaars, buffets priced at exorbitant prices and other Raya Sales. excess only distracts one from the true meaning of Ramadhan. it is not about the worldly materials, instead, it's about our faith.

Ramadhan is a chance for one to become better. to really change. and to understand that Islam is not tedious and demanding. it requires submission and understanding that we are not absolute creatures, and that we are here for a purpose - to submit. with only purity in one's heart, one will experience sakinah.

have an enlightening Ramadhan this year, everybody.