Ramadhan this year

i've been shying away from the blog for so long, not because of anything, but because of the tiredness i feel after coming back from the gym. trust me, when you've been on the treadmill and the cross trainer for more than 1 hour, you don't think of anything else after that (except for food and water, that is). and then you only think of your bed...

so back to my entry today.

my Ramadhan this year is different than the rest, simply because this is the first Ramadhan without my mother. i don't want to sound tragic or dramatic, but i miss all those days when she prepared the meals for iftar, and i miss the day when i would plop myself onto my parents bed and wait for her to unwrap our jewelleries for Hari Raya.

but life must go on.

now that all the little devils (i mean that literally) have been chained, it's a joy to be able to perform ibadah, and i hope that i'm a better muslimah than i was last year - and despite the fact that my parents have passed on, i still feel the need to make them feel proud of me, because i know that they are watching me, somewhere.

i've written this last year, especially after my return from umrah. that the journey of the soul is a self-discovery towards being pure. i can tell you that it is not easy. and i'm sure that all of you will agree. it's so easy to bitch about people, it's so easy not to care. it's so easy to feel that you're invincible, and that judgement will stall - at least for you, anyway.

Ask anyone and one will instantly associate Ramadhan with food bazaars, buffets priced at exorbitant prices and other Raya Sales. excess only distracts one from the true meaning of Ramadhan. it is not about the worldly materials, instead, it's about our faith.

Ramadhan is a chance for one to become better. to really change. and to understand that Islam is not tedious and demanding. it requires submission and understanding that we are not absolute creatures, and that we are here for a purpose - to submit. with only purity in one's heart, one will experience sakinah.

have an enlightening Ramadhan this year, everybody.