The Spiritual Journey - to be Mentally Prepared

there are a lot of things that soon-to-be hajis or hajjahs can pack in their suitcases for a 40 day stay in the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah, but then those are just material things that are immaterial when compared to the life changing experiences one gets.

it is not a holiday.

it's a sign of repentance and a purification of the soul, which one must start much earlier before embarking on the journey. in terms of ibadah, this means to regularly wake up in the middle of the night (in my case, an hour or half an hour before subuh) to do qiammulail of tahjud and taubah prayers, as well as other sunah prayers at other times such as isyraq, awwabin and dhuha. it takes a lot of patience, and discipline, but once you get the hang of it, your soul will feel at peace and that quiet joy called sakinah. you know then that you're close to Allah.

but it's not just ibadah that one must prepare oneself with. this is a transition, a liminal space (ahem, i'm using the theory of cultural hybridity term here) where one must adopt changes, good positive changes, which require a good deal of adapting and casting away the bad habits. for me, it is about not to backstab people and bitch about them.it is hard, since humans love to talk and gossip, but i want to try. i've met  a few people (2 of them are ustazahs) who are always serene and have nothing ill to say about others. i aspire to be like these people and insyaallah...

 There are a lot of things that seem trivial and unimportant now. there are a lot of things to be done, a lot of changes to be done. before i went for umrah and after my return, i started wearing long sleeved t shirts and blouses, but i backslid last year. now, after coming across the aurat issue during my quran translation reading, i've started wearing the long sleeves again - and also to wear tudung when my brothers in law or nephews in law are present. it seemed ridiculous at first, because i grew up without wearing tudung when the family was present, but i figured it out that this is a command from Allah, and that vetoed everything else. like my friend Asmarani (who had trained and worked as a hepatologist and then resigned because she wants to devote her life to religion...subhanallah) says, "do it because you want to please Allah".

i'm writing this not to glorify my changes but to inspire the other Muslims. this is sort of Travelog Haji but written in English, and in a blog.

i will try to keep the readers updated when i reach the Holy Lands. certain pictures will be uploaded here, but the rest of the pictures will be available in my facebook account.