The Spiritual Journey: inspirational words

My brother, Abg Mi, who will be my mahram, and my sister in law, Kak Madiha, held their doa selamat last weekend. As usual, the family gathered, but my brother had invited his neighbours and friends, so there were some unfamiliar faces. as usual, Abg Jenal, our family "tok imam" started the tazkirah, and to Abg Mi (who sat crosslegged facing him) he gave this as an advice "when you go for haj, leave your position behind". yes, how true and how wise that advice is. money and status might help one in the worldly world, but when you're in Holy Land, a prince is just as equal as a pauper. and that is also how Masyhar is going to be.   i'm also reminding myself not to think that i'm so special and so i'm worthy of first class treatment over there, and that i'm going there to perform ibadah and we're there as Allah's humble servants. Abg Jenal then again reiterated all his points in his earlier tazkirahs at Abg Halim's (at the time i'm typing this, Abg Halim and my sis in law Kak Siti are already in Makkah as they're in the early flights batch) and my doa selamat - that we 're not there only to do the rituals of haji, but to actually grasp the fundamentals of the philosophy behind it (or in other word, the actual realisation) and undergo a process of becoming a new changed person, as pure as a newborn baby. 

abg Jenal's tazkirah actually inspired some of my siblings. Kak Dah even said she felt she wants to return to Makkah. and Kak Sham, the wife of Abg Jenal, called me a few days ago to ask for abt Rayhar, because they plan to go for umrah after the haj season. alhamdulillah.

i've stopped revising my haji notes for a few days because now i'm busy marking the final exam papers, but tonight i decided to take it easy and i continued reading Travelog Haji written by Muhd Kamil Ibrahim. like me, he may not be a learned ustaz, but he wrote with sincerity in the hope of inspiring Muslims to become better Muslims, and also in the hope of inspiring more to perform haj and experience the most wonderful experience. i've come to the part where he said he extended help to those in need and in this he has really inspired me. i hope i can be as helpful and generous as he is when i'm there.

i've only experienced  umrah once, so i'm in no position to say how everything is going to be, but i can only hope and pray for the best and insyaallah, rabbi yassir wala tuassir...

The Spiritual Journey - to be Mentally Prepared

there are a lot of things that soon-to-be hajis or hajjahs can pack in their suitcases for a 40 day stay in the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah, but then those are just material things that are immaterial when compared to the life changing experiences one gets.

it is not a holiday.

it's a sign of repentance and a purification of the soul, which one must start much earlier before embarking on the journey. in terms of ibadah, this means to regularly wake up in the middle of the night (in my case, an hour or half an hour before subuh) to do qiammulail of tahjud and taubah prayers, as well as other sunah prayers at other times such as isyraq, awwabin and dhuha. it takes a lot of patience, and discipline, but once you get the hang of it, your soul will feel at peace and that quiet joy called sakinah. you know then that you're close to Allah.

but it's not just ibadah that one must prepare oneself with. this is a transition, a liminal space (ahem, i'm using the theory of cultural hybridity term here) where one must adopt changes, good positive changes, which require a good deal of adapting and casting away the bad habits. for me, it is about not to backstab people and bitch about them.it is hard, since humans love to talk and gossip, but i want to try. i've met  a few people (2 of them are ustazahs) who are always serene and have nothing ill to say about others. i aspire to be like these people and insyaallah...

 There are a lot of things that seem trivial and unimportant now. there are a lot of things to be done, a lot of changes to be done. before i went for umrah and after my return, i started wearing long sleeved t shirts and blouses, but i backslid last year. now, after coming across the aurat issue during my quran translation reading, i've started wearing the long sleeves again - and also to wear tudung when my brothers in law or nephews in law are present. it seemed ridiculous at first, because i grew up without wearing tudung when the family was present, but i figured it out that this is a command from Allah, and that vetoed everything else. like my friend Asmarani (who had trained and worked as a hepatologist and then resigned because she wants to devote her life to religion...subhanallah) says, "do it because you want to please Allah".

i'm writing this not to glorify my changes but to inspire the other Muslims. this is sort of Travelog Haji but written in English, and in a blog.

i will try to keep the readers updated when i reach the Holy Lands. certain pictures will be uploaded here, but the rest of the pictures will be available in my facebook account.

The Spiritual Journey: Preparation

last week, a day after the rayhar briefing, i held my first tahlil and doa selamat at my sister's house in kelana jaya. my siblings were so happy that i decided to host the tahlil that they teased me about it. one of my brothers (who's now in Madinah, insyaallah) even joked that we should call Karam Singh Walia to report for TV3 news.

well anyway, Abg Jenal, my brother in-law cum tok imam for our religious gatherings, began the doa selamat by giving tazkirah. his question was pertinent, and very very important for every haj pilgrim.

"why do you want to go for haj?"

a basic question, which can produce a lot of answers. but what is the answer?

we perform haj not only to complete the 5th pillar of Islam, but we perform haj as penitent and humble Muslims, who are willing to sacrifice worldly possessions in order to become pure, as pure as newborn babies.

labaik Allahuma labaik

here i am O Allah, here i am

labbaika la sharika laka baik

here i am, you have no equal, here i am

inna al-hamd wanni'mata laka wal mulk, la sharika lak

verily all praises and blessings are yours, and all the sovereignty, you have no equal. 

and as we go through the rituals of tawaf, sai'e, wuquf in Arafah and stoning the Satan in Mina we must remember that we're reliving the significant scenes of what happened to some of the most significant people in Muslim history. Nabi Adam was the first man to do tawaf, and Nabi Ibrahim was the first man to build the Kaabah. sai'e symbolises Siti Hajar's run from Safa to Marwah in order to find water for Nabi Ismail. the stoning ritual symbolises the actual stoning by Nabi Ibrahim when the Satan tried to dissuade him from sacrificing his beloved son.all these point to the most important thing - to sacrifice what you love in order to be Allah's most devoted worshippers.

for me, going for haj doesn't  mean you have to be pure and contrite only when you're in the Holy Land.  it starts long before.this is a process that takes a lot of determination and patience for a Muslim. it is not easy to be good, and that is why we get extra bonus for being one. there are times when i backslid, but i steered myself right back on course.  

haj, is therefore, a spiritual journey, just like i called it once when i performed umrah in 2008. but back then i didn't have the much deeper understanding like i have now. it is still a spiritual journey for me, but i feel at peace. i long to see Kaabah again, to be able to pray jemaah in Masjidil Haram with all the other 3 million pilgrims from all over the world and to feel the ukhwah. safe. secure.

Rayhar's briefing on the journey to Mecca

this is the last briefing of any kind before i report myself at Tabung Haji in Kelana Jaya next month. it's vital that the soon to be hajis and hajjahs be present at this briefing, because this is no longer about what to do and when to do it like we learnt in the past 10 months, but this is about our journey to the holy city, expectations and unexpectations.

ustaz rosli was there as the MC, and it's nice to see a familiar face. as usual, we began the briefing with talbiyah, which of course made me cry. it's so profound, especially when you're saying to Allah "Here i am, o God, i'm answering your call". it teaches us about humility, and that Datuk or no Datuk, Tengku or no Tengku, King or no King, we are all the same in the eyes of Allah.

after the talbiyah, the CEO of Rayhar Travels, Hj Harun, explained to us why there was a delay in informing us the flight schedule and as to why we haven't received the Rayhar signature purple bags. there was some laughter of embarrassment when he requested us not to be angry about the whole thing. as he told us lots of time, "relax, be patient and smile". that should be our mantra. we were informed of what we should do once we reach Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya, later to KLIA and Jeddah Airport. when i saw all the pictures of Makkah, Arafah and Mina, i couldn't wait to be there!

The Last Hajj Course

normally a jemaah haji will go through 3 courses before embarking on the pilgrimmage to Makkah Al Mukarramah. i've gone through the 15 series of course, the intensive course, and the grand finale which is the Kursus Haji Perdana, where they gather the jemaah haji from all over the state, in this case for me it's Wilayah Persekutuan. my other family members registered at Selangor so they attended the course at the Shah Alam mosque while i had to go to Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin mosque, the mosque some fondly dubbed as the Steel Mosque.

i don't know my way in Putrajaya, and although Kak Dah and Abang Najib showed me the way on the first day of raya, i knew back then i'd get lost somewhere in god knows what precint. so Kak Dah offered to drive me there. good!

when we arrived there at 2pm, there were many cars around, and there were policemen controlling the traffic. the mosque is huge, it's a complex! i made my way with my pink bag and after asking people for some directions, i finally reached the lobby of the mosque - and met my Rayhar course lecturer, Ust. Hj Ahmad Rosli. he recognised my face and we chatted for awhile. then i registered, got my tag, and again, made my way to the lift, all the while seeing a lot of pilgrims around - wheelchairbound grandmothers, young ladies, the educated ladies who spoke in English to their husbands (reminded me of my family). we were already separated from the men, and we were placed in maktab, simulating the scenario in makkah. my maktab happened to be at the end of the mosque on the 3rd floor. i immediately saw that there were mats around, we were instructed to bring the mat. some were sprawling on them. i immediately made friends with Kak Nor and K.Nora (wah! a person who looks like me, with the same name, and we have a lot in common)

there was to be a briefing at 3.30 and we were told to wear our white ihrams. the organiser was Tabung Haji, and a few ustazs spoke to us, telling us what to expect and etc. then, we had the talbiyyah, which always makes me cry.i think the most beautiful view was when i saw rows of pilgrims praying, with the men all in white ihrams, and we the ladies at the back, symbolising unity, equality and humility. and most of all, that we're jemaah haji.haj bound.

after the asar prayer, my maktab started the first practical, which was tawaf and sa'ie. we had to tawaf and sa'ie in the rain as they told us that in 2008 it rained in Makkah, so we had to expect the unexpected.  that night at 10pm, we started the melontar practical, or stone throwing. 

i couldn't really sleep well that night, as the structure of the mosque is so that it is light and airy, and there's no solid wall. it may be light and airy and cool during daytime, but at night i was freezing. decided to take a morning shower at 2.30am as to avoid the congestion in the showers and restrooms.

in the morning we had the last practical for tawaf and sa'ie. finally we had the closing ceremony and it's time to return home.

this is just a gist of what everyone might expect while doing hajj. there were only 3000 pilgrims at the mosque, but once we're in Makkah there'll be 3 million pilgrims.

May Allah make this haj a good haj for me.

Happy Eid Mubarrak

i celebrated my hari raya at my one of my sisters this year. it's a quiet raya for me, i don't know whether it's a matter of getting older or that raya in KL is not raya at all. in truth, i miss celebrating raya in terengganu, because of all the excitement of having more than 50 people under one roof , and visiting relatives at kampung.

well, life goes on. 

i still had that slight raya cheer in me though. early in the morning of raya i went down the stairs and nearly triggered the alarm because i was so damn hungry. and before kak dah could cook her masak lodeh, i was already popping cookies into my mouth.

after the picture taking, we went to kak sham's house. kak sham's house was very quiet this year, because her children celebrated raya at their in laws. so no patters of little feet, no cries and no Disney Chanel. the grandparents were on holiday for a few days and the 'nursery' is closed. kak sham cooked mother's nasi biryani and i was so happy that i had a second helping of it. not to mention i ate another round of lemang and rendang (i don't know why, but this year i craved for rendang and lemang). the problem is, kak sham's lemang is everything-you-can-eat and not only beef. i accidentally bit into a slice of liver and byearkhh!! can't stand the taste! 

next we visited kak ma, my eldest sister who is suffering advanced dementia. she's okay, but she doesn't recognise any of us anymore. hard to imagine that 10 years ago she's an elegant lady, the mistress of the house.

after the brief visit, we went to abg zaki's house, where i had another round of lemang and rendang. there's nasi dagang, but i figured that nasi dagang is a knockout with the richness of the pulut, so i skipped that.  had a slice of Janna's strawberry shortcake. the heavy feast was taking a toll on us, because we felt so sleepy and down we went on the carpet, like nana called it, "beach whales"

and that was on the first day.

on the second day, abg mi had his open house, and i had nasi minyak and soto. met my nephews nana and yaya and started discussing the gym training and the injuries we usually get in the gym. thank god for a doctor who can advise me straight away!

and lastly, we went to datuk's house. abang halim's house is full of his DIY projects - he tiled his house and the fence himself. he made the fish pond himself. and knowing abg halim, his home theatre speakers can deafen anybody's ears. 

and so 2 days of feasting ended. i went home to ampang before i could do further damage to my weight.

the loss of innocence

Remember when the days were long

And rolled beneath a deep blue sky

Didn't have a care in the world

With mommy and daddy standin' by

But "happily ever after" fails

And we've been posisoned by these fairy tales

The End of Innocence, Don Henley

it's funny how fragile happiness is. it is not permanent, and this i noticed with the passing of years. 

when i was a young adult i had no cares in this world, and happiness was when i was with my family. raya was the happiest time since everybody came back home, and back them my closes nieces were still unmarried, so we would roam places, talked and just laughed under the big big sky.

but now things are different. my mother had passed on, my nieces are all married and have their own problems, and the only one who remains the same is me. 

may be we've all grown up and moved on. but then again, can we ever achieve that happiness again?

bubur lambuk

all these years i had been championing terengganu's bubur lambuk, saying that ours is the original version of the bubur lambuk, what with the fish and the ulam kampung added. 

but on the first week of Ramadhan i was given the famous Kampung Baru bubur lambuk twice. and i'm hooked. unlike its east coast counterpart, kampung baru bubur lambuk is made with shreds of beef and dried shrimps, but it still has coconut milk, just like the terengganu version. anyway, i kept dreaming of it for the past few days.

and so yesterday i decided to cook the bubur lambuk myself, since going to any pasar ramadhan is suicidal what with the traffic jam and all...i googled up the recipe, and found a decent one by this  blogger . 

bought the stuff at MaxValu and when i returned home at 6pm, i started cooking straight away, the only things i added  were the fresh shrimps and ground dried ikan bilis, and i omitted the white pepper (since i don't like it). the porridge was done before iftar, alhamdulillah. and when i tasted it, it was perfect!!

the day i pancited...

before ramadhan, i was determined to repeat my feat during last year's ramadhan - to continue working out in the gym. unfortunately though, words are easier said than done. i've been coughing since the start of ramadhan, and had to put my gym visits on hold.

until today.

i was so happy to see that there were many available treadmills, and gleefully made my way upstairs. i decided not to jog but to merely walk, which is good enough. i did lower body weight training, which was nothing unusual. at school, i was talking to everyone like i would normally do. and i shouted at the errant students in class, just like i always do.

until 4pm, when lethargy started to kick in. i felt like i was sleepwalking. my speech is low and monotonous, and not at its usual high pitch.  my students looked at me in amusement.

now i feel like it's not a good idea after all.

What Muslims in Malaysia Eat in Ramadhan

i've noticed that there is a certain food culture during Ramadhan. it didn't occur to me until i was on my way to school and saw a makeshift stall selling canned lychees and longans at Pasar Keramat. so here's my list:

1. Typical drinks for iftar : soya bean milk, cincau rose syrup and sugarcane drink.

packed soya bean milk

cincau

sugarcane drink

2. Typical desserts : jellies, taufu fa and santan based kuih

agar-agar berlapis santan

packed taufu fa with molasses or regular syrup

kuih talam

kuih cara manis

kuih seri muka

3. Typical savoury kuihs:

karipap

pulut panggang

roti jala

4. Typical canned desserts : lychees in yellow cans

and longans in blue and white cans

longans in heavy syrup

5. Typical main meal from pasar ramadhan : nasi kerabu,

nasi kerabu

roti john

murtabak

ayam percik

ikan bakar

6. Typical homecooked meal : fried mee hoon, fried rice and spicy broth

fried mee hoon

fried rice

spicy beef ribs soup

7. A must for every iftar : dates

dates

the joy of giving

in the olden days when i was a little girl (god, i feel so ancient) ramadhan bazaars or pasar ramadhan (or now popularly known as param) never existed. for my late mother who had to feed a lot of children, cooking from scratch and eating at home was a normal occurence. to deviate from this code was a big no-no. and so i grew up with lots of homemade food, and because there was always an excess of food, my mother would send me to the neighbours' houses, bearing tiffin filled with the delicious desserts.

and usually, the neighbours would reciprocate by giving some dishes, and so the tiffin was never empty. this practice went on until the first day of Eid Mubarrak, when everybody cooked delicious but very very fattening meals.

little did i know that this was exactly what Islam wants in every Muslim during Ramadhan - to share and to give.

and since i'm my mother's daughter, i love the idea of cooking, i love eating what i cook, knowing that my food isn't cooked in some second rate oil, i trim off the fat from the meat, i don't use sugar excessively and there're no preservatives in the food i cook.

today, i felt very ambitious, after an absence of serious cooking on the kitchen stove. i made chinese style chicken pau, pecal, my favourite kuih cara and my usual drink, homemade soya bean milk. there's a small problem though.they're not world famously delicious, and i've nothing to rave about them, but what is most important is that i enjoyed making them, and they're fresh and i know what goes into making them.

anyway, i had a lot of kuih cara and thought of sending some to my next door neighbour who are a young couple in their 20s.i packed some into some container and called them. unfortunately they're out but i did tell the hubby to call me so that i could give them the dessert.

during iftar, i realised that my kuih cara was a tad hard because the batter was thick. i had second thoughts then about giving the dessert, because in Islam, you're supposed to give the best to the guest. anyway, just as i was about to start my terawih prayers, the husband called and told me they're back.so i dashed downstairs in my telekung, and was pleasantly surprised when they reciprocated and gave me some sort of a frozen rolled sandwich. and they also extended an invitation for iftar at their house next weekend.

i went back inside the house with a smile. despite the stories that disappointed and devastated us, there is still kindness when you give it a chance.

the joys of sharing and giving.

The Holy Ramadhan is here

i don't know why but this year i feel so excited of the prospect of praying terawih for the whole ramadhan. perhaps it's because i've been preparing myself for haj. for me ramadhan is no longer about shopping for foods sold at Ramadhan bazaars, it's about putting oneself nearer to Allah by means of ibadahs. so, i've actually transitioned, haven't i? hopefully this will be a good Ramadhan for me. and to all the muslims out there.

Busy Social Calendar

i havent had a free weekend since 3rd July. every single weekend there's always something on, and it can be tiring when i teach on Monday.

well, let's see... there's the Intensive Haj Course which lasted for 2 days (throughout the weekend). straight after the course, i was busy screaming at the field, because Sports Day was on the next Saturday. i was running around looking for my teeny weeny runners under the hot sun since i was the Housemistress for the afternoon session.

then on the next weekend i had the book review presentation at school (although it was gazetted by the Ministry that DG41 and 44 teachers do not have to do book review presentations) and straight after the presentation i went for my Seri Puteri reunion. it was really really good to see everybody after 20 years. 

and last weekend we had a hi tea buffet at a hotel because our Afternoon Head Assistant teacher is retiring this thursday. it was somewhat a cross between arabic and indian cuisine in an arab inspired restaurant so everyone was bedecked in glitters and abayas and some other creative ensemble. the naan bread was good, but unfortunately i couldn't stay long to enjoy more of it because i had to dash to a potluck at Shidah's house, where some old friends were scheduled to arrive.yesterday, i went to KLCC with another teacher on a mission - to buy our Afternoon Head Assistant a handbag for her retirement. knowing that PC fair was being held there, i told her i couldn't possibly drive there.finally we took the LRT, and you could just imagine the crowd that thronged the station carrying a lot of pc stuff boxes.

i'm hoping for a quiet weekend this week. ah...

the Seri Puteri Class of 86-90 20th Anniversary Reunion Dinner

for me, it was the most anticipated event, one that i had waited for a year. most of my close friends are my ex-classmates, so it's no wonder that i'd be so excited.

the organising committee, which comprised of 7 of our schoolmates, met regularly to discuss. there were to be a lot of door gifts, and the grand prizes for the lucky draw were the Coach bags. a dream for most women. but most important of all, we would be meeting each other, and it would be very interesting to see how much 20 years have changed them.

i was to stay with my friend Annee, who has always been a generous soul, at the Legend Hotel.the night before the event i couldn't really sleep simply because i was excited! but the bummer is that i had to present a book review session at school in the morning. 

i followed shidah and normi to Seri Pacific, where we were due to have the event, and though it was afternoon, i saw some familiar faces, and guess what? we shrieked, and we were 17 again, oblivious to the amused and bemused crowd at the hotel. 

in the evening, we got ready in our best and it was nice to see the girls (ladies) again, and obviously there were a lot of shrieks and hugging, regardless of the MC's requests for us to settle down and become proper adults like we were taught in the boarding school. imagine, some of the girls flown in from Riyadh, Myanmar, Sarawak, Sabah, Kedah... so you can just imagine the pandemonium.

we started the show with singing the school song, and a re-enactment of what usually comes next after the school song during the school assembly, which is a very light exercise (imagine, doing exercise in our magnificent ensemble and heels). we had video montages from our former Chief Warden, Pn Aminah, and our days in the school. 

i didn't get the Coach bag, though, but i got a packet of Basmathi rice. bummer! oh well. it was almost midnight when the dinner ended, and being an early sleeper, i made my way back to the Legend Hotel (where we gossiped until 2am). the rest of the girls changed into our new Seri Puteri t- shirts, and had supper at Rasa Sayang restaurant.

the next day the event still continued for some of us, like for me, i hung out with Shidah and Anne and had lunch at Chilis.

it was a blast, and it was a memorable night for all of us, judging by the hundreds of comments on the pics posted in Facebook. 

the 5 ilmu girls who always meet regularly

the cupcake that we won for the game of charades, with our school emblem on it

the 5 ilmu girls who attended the dinner

the happy 60 girls who attended the dinner

looking forward to many more gatherings in the future.

"Kita lah puteri harapan bangsa, berkumpul dari seluruh tanahair"   

Meeting with My Literature Coursemates

a long time ago, when i first started blogging, i wrote a lot about the "suffering" that the M.A. students had to undergo in UM. suffering, because, the standard is so damn high that it took me 3 years to produce a dissertation. and since 1964 there're only 47 M.A. scholars who made it and received the scroll.

anyway, last sunday i met up with Iris and Nash. Iris is motherly and gave me good advice when i was moping after a breakup and couldn't write a term paper that was due on that particular day. i owe her a lot for that. nash is a literature genius and could rattle off some thinker's name during Literary Theory and talked about his seminal work. he was the one who helped me with my dissertation - we discussed regularly and he also went through my working chapters before i sent them in to my supervisor.

in short, these people were there when i needed them. 

so when Nash said he's flying to Australia to do his PhD this 24th, i had to see him. and so did Iris. it was fun meeting them, and memories of us having lunch before the next class some years ago flashed in my mind. i told Nash i'm going to miss talking to him. 

well, Nash, good luck in your PhD!

Gym Hopping

after my return from terengganu, i decided to take a look at the celebrity fitness gym at wangsa walk, as it's a commercial gym and has a lot of classes and the fact that the parking fee is only RM1 for 3 hours. that surely is dirt cheap compared to what i had to pay for  2 hours of parking at KLCC (RM8). 

i went to wangsa walk with shidah, who graciously took me there so that i could buy my supplements from Vitacare there. as i said, i only wanted to check out the place, but these people were telling me that they'd reduce the monthly payment if i sign up on first visit.  it was a spontaneous act, and i didn't plan to sign that day, but i guess that's one of the tactics they play.

this is my 3rd week there, and although i hate the exorbitant parking fees at KLCC, i miss the quietness and the privacy. it's always packed at the new gym, and i have to get used to the equipment (the old gym uses Nautilus). i was disappointed though, that the lockers and the shower rooms are small, and that some of the equipment isn't actually brand new (it should be, since the branch at wangsa walk just opened last year) i can actually spot a tear on one of the pads of the equipment, and the safety clip one clips on when on the treadmill is actually rusty. the only thing good i can say about the gym is that they have a lot of interesting classes like belly-dancing , latin mix, hip hop dancing and a class called batuka (i really don't know what it is).

oh well, i just have to adapt, don't i?  

The Return to the Beach and Land of Good Food

i had to settle a few things regarding the house in terengganu. i didn't want to go back alone though, so i asked mozie to accompany me. she's happy to oblige.

terengganu is a nice place for those who like a laidback life at the beach with plenty of cheap good and fattening food. not to forget - a place full of artwork, what with the production of quality brassware, songket weaving, batik sarung and colourful, sophisticated and elegant batik silk.

which is why i made a point to stop at kuala kemaman to have otak otak and pulut lepa at Aziz Satar. mozie likes satar, so she bought those. with those in our hands, we made our way to Pantai Mak Nik which was nearby and had our lunch there.  ah the beach!

we arrived in KT at nearly 4pm. the house was in a mess, but the tall grasses and weeds had been cleared by my neighbour. thank god for pak din. that evening we went to have fried seafood at the beach at Teluk Ketapang. earlier, mozie's friend told her to eat fried seafood at ICT, and i thought, what is ICT??? my answer was answered later.

there's no other nicer place to eat freshly fried seafood than at the first stall at Teluk Ketapang, since it's facing the beach - so while eating the crunchy seafood and sipping coconut drink, you can enjoy the evening seabreeze. there're a lot of cars at the first stall, and during the school hols more often than not, you'll find out -of-state car registration numbers. finding an empty spot there is also a problem, as you can see judging by the rows of cars there. one has to go to the counter and wait for the makcik to dump the freshly fried mackerels or calamari or crabs or prawns onto a big tray, and with an empty plate(s) in hand, one will try to dive into getting the perfect catch (or grab for any catch at all, since the seafood disappears just as soon the makcik puts it on the tray. people really have long hands when they're hungry). however, it's different with fried calamari. the makcik will dish the fried calamari rings onto the plates herself - and this is the best of all the fried seafood there.

so, happy with my catch, i made my way to the table and then mozie told me "look to your left" and there i saw it on the signboard "ICT" which translates into ikan celup tepung (fish dipped in batter). well, i've been going there since 1999 and i didn't know that it was called ICT. 

the next day we went to Pasar Kedai Payang and spent a lot of money there. it's a curse to be a woman - can you see those gorgeous silks and not buy them? i think not. there're always new designs around, and usually the new designs come out during the school hols. we met with another friend, Norni who had her boys with her. we then met later that night for a dinner with a few other friends.

the next day it was back to the market and we bought beef floss, keropok, and more silks.i met with my friends Shima and Ah Chooi, who i hadnt met for quite some time. Shima was busy with her thesis, rushing with all the lab tests, and ah chooi was busy moving her tuition centre to a new spot.

we finally started our journey back to KL after doing the last shopping at pasar kedai payang and having lunch.of course, we stopped to take pic at our favourite spot in dungun.

balik kampung

i hadnt returned to my hometown since the meeting with the magistrate regarding my late mother's property last year. i knew that i had to return to pay the quit rent and to settle some other matters. and so yesterday i returned to terengganu with mozie to accompany me. which is good, since it was an easy, no stress driving with plenty of fattening food to accompany us.

i had asked someone to clear the house compound, so it was nice to see no weeds and grasses around. it's hot here in terengganu, hotter than in KL. upon my arrival at the house gate, i saw Pak Wahab, my neighbour on my right (depends on which side you're looking it from), who immediately stopped his car when he saw my car. he looked the same although i hadnt seen him for two years.

the house was, as usual, dirty but still habitable.it's good to be back, and i rummaged through my wardrobe to find kebaya that i couldn't fit in earlier (but now i can!). after meeting Pak Din (the neighbour who helped to clear the weeds) to pay him, mozie and i went to Teluk Ketapang to have ikan celup tepung. the place was more packed than usual. the tauke has expanded the sitting area and there's a tiled floor. i used to remember back in the late 90s, at its humble beginning, the shop only had dirty sand as its floor, a few plastic chairs and tables, and some village goats grazing the grass nearby. very rustic and rudimentary. how things have changed! there're a lot of out of town cars, a testament that the food is good. 

at night we went to see a few kain shops, and despite not wanting to spend it on another piece of fabric, i did!

today i hope to settle the things that i've to do.

gossiping

i'm on duty at school this week, so that means i'm the last person to leave school. and because i was late and tired, i decided to dine out. i went to this one particular restaurant which serves nyonya inspired dishes. the tauke lady is friendly enough, and likes to call female customers "sister". 

last evening, though, she really irritated me. 

i've always been careful about my food and drink intake, but after the heavy-duty workout and the asam laksa i thought that i deserve a treat. i wanted to have rice. she told me the rice has only turmeric and no coconut milk, and the chicken rendang has little coconut milk in it. drinks? i was tempted to have my favourite Season's iced lemon tea, but i asked for plain water instead. i told her i was watching my sugar intake. she asked me if i have ...? and i said no, i don't have diabetes, i'm on a diet.

"but you're a beautiful lady, why do you need to diet?" 

is she blind? i told her i already lost 13kgs. then she commented

"you have lovely skin" and i started to tell her that i'm under medication for my PCOS, and that's why i have smooth skin, but the only thing she caught was " i'm taking pills".

the next thing i knew while i was eating, i heard her talk to a couple who're also eating there. don't you just hate it when you can hear someone discussing you?

and guess what she told the couple - that i'm on slimming pills!

is she crazy? it really irked me that some people think i'll do anything to lose weight. but then these people don't know me, and those who know me, know me that i'll do things the right way - which is why i don't cheat like some other women who are lazy to sweat out and go to slimming centres instead.

that also tells me one thing. that the tauke loves to gossip.

low-fat wholemeal apple cake

today i baked a healthier version of an apple cake. who says you have to forego the sweetest things in life when you're dieting?

the cake is actually a pound cake, but i changed half of the butter to applesauce. because of the amount of liquid, i reduced the number of eggs to only 1 egg. the cake is actually nice, considering that i sort of threw everything in.

low-fat wholemeal apple cake

60g butter

65g applesauce

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla essence

75g brown sugar (i decreased the sugar since there's sugar in the applesauce)

65g plain flour

60g wholemeal flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

50g raisins

1 granny smith apple, peeled, cored and chopped.

creaming method, bake at 175 C for 35 mins or until baked.