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although i sometimes believe in feminist theories (like equality and stuff), i'm much a conservative girl, which means the feminists wont like it when i say i like cooking and sewing (as they deem such activities as burden being thrust to the womenfolk by the patriarchal society).

i may be able to whip a tiramisu or make fresh croissants from made-from-scratch pastry, but unfortunately, much as i want to be good at sewing, i simply fail miserably. in short, i suck.

i was influenced by the presence of a mother who is the perfect housewife who cooked and sewed for the family. and that's not all. my sisters took ERT at school while i was the only one who took Commerce. so i had no basics in cooking or sewing.

but now that i'm a adult i find that i like to create something because it s therapeutic. however, unlike baking a cake which lasts only an hour, a sewing project can be tedious and time consuming. i still have an unfinished embroidery project and another unfinished very colourful quilted comforter (stashed somewhere in the mountains of cottons that i bought).

one of the legacies that my mother wishes me to have is her beloved Singer. it's an old sewing machine, dated from the 60s and to make it work, you have to exercise your feet (rock the foot pedal to and fro). when i was younger, she used to scold me for making a mess with the thread and the bobbin until the machine was stuck. so you see, i dont really get along with the sewing machine.

but that didnt deter me. i have this wonderful idea of cutting cost by sewing my own curtains. yep, you heard me. sew me own curtain (as jamie oliver might have said if he's a tailor instead of a celebrity chef). i had problems with the first set of curtains - which is for the dining room. the fabric is nice, it speaks volumes of drama. from afar they look like curtains, but dont get too close and scrutinise the stitches. buoyed with "success", i then decided to sew a set of curtains for my mother's room. the result? well...i guess mine would have been picasso's version of curtain. my mother gave her opinion, but nothing could be helped. she did say that if i ever want to change the living room's curtains, i should get professional help.

last month i had 3 days break, and i decided to sew a nightgown for myself. and because i had no basic knowledge of whatsoever in terms of sewing clothes, i bought the cheapest cotton so that i wont feel bad if i mess up. i did mess up, not once but many, many times. i already cut the cloth but then i realised that it wasnt according to the measurement, so i called my sister for help. she said that i must have a template and then started to get technical "you take your measurement then plus 2 inches..." i didnt listen to her after that. i did make a template, and despite my mother's warnings that the gown looked small, i boldly sewed it and was ready to try it on. only to find that i was stuck like a sarung nangka inside my nightgown. had to call bibik to take it off.

so now i'm back to sewing curtains, this time for my own room. okay, my sewing has improved, but still, dont scrutinise my workmanship.

well, i'm only human, after all.