longing for the familiar

every one finds it hard to adapt. unless of course, if you live a nomadic life all your life that it has become a routine to re-adjust.

it was horrible at first to be at my new school. the first meeting of the year lasted for 2 days, something that is an alien concept in SS.

the school is small, although the number of student enrollment is as big as SS. i miss the 'leisurely' walk to class, greeted by the warm sea breeze all year round. in the new school, where there's no space, you go up. so there are many stairs to be climbed, one of my form 2 classes is on the 4th floor!

ok grumble, grumble, grumble. in truth, i hate being a nobody. nobody likes being a nobody. i like routine because there's something so comforting and established about it. you belong to a society, and you have a say in everything. being a nobody means a loss of identity. of course, i keep remembering my literature fraternity's lecture "you must be humble at the new school." yes, it's hard when people see you as a newbie - they don't know your achievements or triumphs - they know you as "cikgu baru". i resent that. and though inside i feel like bursting, i keep telling myself that arrogance will lead to nowhere, and humility is a ticket to every where. well, it's easier said than done.

(okay, i know that what i'm going through is the process of dislocation or displacement, something Homi Bhabha and Salman Rushdie love to talk in their books).

but it's getting easier every day, the students are weak academically, but they are a nice bunch. i had a talk with one of the math teachers there, and when i told him i'm "slowly adapting" to the environment, he said "of course they are different from your students, they are different because they need your love since they are neglected at home, and some rely solely on our teaching in school." that gave me a new perspective. a new set of students. they might not be as rich and priviledged or as bright as my SS students, but they appeal to me because of their candour and naivete'. i've only been in their class probably once or twice, but they keep calling me "teacher" or "miss nora" whenever i walk past. if there's one thing that can melt my grouchiness, it's camaraderie and friendliness.

well, that's a start.