the power of words

when we're small, we sometimes say words we don't mean, but most of the time, we're not affected by it. but as we grow older, and as socialising teaches us how to behave in the society, we tend to be considerate towards the others. that is the way it goes.

this serves well for everybody who follows this mantra. any normal adult will have this consideration and tact when dealing with people, especially with their family and friends. okay, may be i should rephrase that statement. any normal adult should have this consideration and tact when dealing with people.

recently, a tactless friend made an uncalled for comment on a friend. it was a very immature comment, and if she thought that that was a joke, the joke has done the damage.

years ago a friend called me a name which i will not repeat here. it was during Ramadhan. strangely enough, i didn't cry. i kept silent. and strangely enough, she thinks that after all these years i've forgotten the incident and tries to be friendly in facebook. unfortunately though, one does not forget.

the person i admire the most in dealing with people is Prof Dr Sham Sani, who used to be UKM's TNC when i was a TESL student. he was a very humble person, so much so that during the convocation ceremony, he parked at the car park along with the other proud parents. the rest of his subordinates waited for their cars to be driven to the grand porch. to get his staff to do a certain task, he would ask gently and politely "(mr so and so), boleh mintak tolong tak?" this is the kind of a person that one aspires to be (aside from the Prophet)- a courteous, humble, considerate intelligent person.

there are many people who just spew words that hurt other people's feelings, consciously or unconsciously. it does not harm anyone to be considerate. because, remember, you're not talking to dummies, you're talking to people with feelings. like Rudyard Kipling says in his poem "If"

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

if you don't like yourself to be alone and with no friends, then think about other people. because, in the end, words reflect your character and friends will flee from you.