when i was little, eidul fitri meant abundant food (usually nasi dagang), fireworks and duit raya. oh, and of course, new baju raya and shoes to show off. eidul fitri is a time of joy for everyone, and i knew for one my late mother had this content and happy smile when she saw all her children and grandchildren coming back for raya. there would be queues to the bathroom, foods bought at pasar ramadhan would fill the dining table and everybody would sit to "chup" their eating place at any space available in the house.
now that i'm almost reaching 40, my perspective in life has changed, and because of this, eidul fitri also has a different meaning for me. in the past it was all about childish glee over meeting family members and eating wonderful food, but now eidul fitri doesn't mean that much to me.
no, i'm not depressed. i'm not disillusioned.
to me, there's a shift in order of importance in life. in my opinion, the one that we should celebrate and look forward to isn't the celebration of eidul fitri (although it is a day of celebration for our triumph against nafs) but instead we should celebrate ramadhan. in my previous blog entry i wrote that ramadhan is about repentance and the chance to increase our ibadahs. i feel at peace and tranquil. because of this, to me, ramadhan is beautiful. actually i feel sad that ramadhan is ending.
it does not mean that i don't want to celebrate eidul fitri. i do have new baju raya and new shoes, and i can't wait till i meet with my family members again. it's okay to celebrate eidul fitri, but celebrate it sensibly and not to overdo it.