Saturday, October 31, 2009

"It's okay"

last wednesday, i discovered that i do have friends among the new colleagues at school. all this while i only trust my friend zai, whom i have known since tesl matric year 1, and who was my roommate.

but on that fateful day, i landed myself in deep tut! and guess what? a colleague, who's the head of panel, helped me. she didn't yell at me, she didn't say anything to make me feel even worse. she gave me some solutions that could help me save myself (i nearly typed a bad word there). at that point, it hit me that she's a true friend.

that was why, i wrote on my facebook later on

despite all the obstacles, the storms, the downs, the frustrations, the fear, at the end of the day, life embraces you and says "it's okay"

it's a nice warm feeling that you get, when you realise that despite all the screw-ups, life goes on, and you have a friend.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

the feasting

i've just recovered from major bloatedness. sorry if i sound gross. i had too much to eat today, ah too much merry making!

i was supposed to have picnic with mozie and ka
k nan at the lake today. as told in earlier entries, i had prepared myself for loads of picnicking sessions since the day i bought the rattan picnic basket in june.

i made blueberry and orange cupcakes today. if i had my way ( and more time) i would have baked some cinnamon rolls, but then i was too exhausted from the gym workout to wake up at wee hours to knead the dough.

as i was about to lock the door, mozie called to
say that there was no parking space left at the park so as we had discussed earlier, we went for Plan B which was to have "picnic" at my place. and because i wanted this to be a picnic, i told them i didn't want to use china, i wanted to use my plastic plates and bowls and cutlery. and so, we had nasi lemak cooked by mozie, kak nan brought eggs and cucumber and yours truly provided the dessert.

we talked and talked and laughed so hard. then i mentioned that i wanted to move to the master bedroom as i couldn't stand the noise from the traffic and plus, indah water is doing some construction work at the park which is exactly where my bedroom faced. and so, my two dear friends helped me to dismantled the bed and re-assembled it in another room. thanx guys!

after the breakfast, i had to dash to go for the family tahlil at abg halim's house in sg buloh. i was lucky the traffic wasn't that heavy. after the yaasin and the zohor prayer, i couldn't really enjoy my food as i was still bloated from the breakfast. abg mi made a lot of comments. because abg halim is the only one who likes to live in suasana kampung and has a fruit orchard, we had a nice time picking the rambutans (picking, because abg halim was the one responsible for plucking the rambutans with his galah). abg mi was enthusiastic about the whole thing - he came well prepared with a big basin to hold all the rambutans that he can get. me, i was just satisfied with a modest 1 plastic bag of rambutan.

after the rambutan picking, i went home, only to find that indah water has closed the road behind the house and so, the other cars from ampang jaya use our private lanes to pass through... *sigh* more noise! and although it is past 10pm, the construction is still going on... *double sigh*

Thursday, October 22, 2009

what s to become of the future generation?

as i now commute to the gym via LRT, i get to meet people from all walks of life. usually i don't bother about their conversation, until today when i heard two teenagers talking. judging from their conversation, i would say the girls are typical uptown wangsa maju kids who have just left school. i couldn't help overhearing (i wasn't eavesdropping, they talked loud enough for the entire coach to hear) the conversation, and was shocked when the one of the girls casually talked about going to a club which she proclaimed the entry fee as "murah gile", and that they serve a bucket of beer.

okay so i'm shocked. i know that i shouldn't be, but the fact that they can be so casual and i can even say that the statement is more of a brag than anything else.

it's not the teacher in me, it's about being a mature person who has seen much and won't like the youngsters to suffer.

in one of the daily hadith sent by Anne, the writer has said that the current time is about the era of modesty seen as a lack of confidence and vulgarity is seen as an act of boldness. the girl's statement attests to the truth of the statement.

i'm very upset with all this.

isn't there something to cheer me up today?

Friday, October 16, 2009

the journey to the gym

the journey to the gym is full of temptations of earthly (or gastronomic) paradise, especially now that i've to take LRT. from far i could smell rotiboi's sought-after mexican bun and the sinful and alluring smell of famous amos' chocolate chip cookies. now i could understand Ulysses' dilemma when the sexy sirens called the sailors to the shore (and to their destruction). if i didn't have the gym bag with me to remind me of my destination, i would have fallen into the trap and devour the delicious cookies like there's no tomorrow.

and so with regret, i walked on and made my way to the gym and sweated myself.

before returning home, i heard traditional indian music - they played live on one of the floors, and playing kuch kuch hota hai!
i contemplated whether i should wait until the rush hour is over or take the lrt then because it's thursday night (yaasin reading night). i then proceeded to the lrt, and i had to again, pass the famous amos ...ah temptations!!! there many people at the ticketing counter. there were many people more at the platform. i missed 4 lrts before i could get on one. even then, the phrase "sardine-packed" paled into comparison. i could hardly see my bags, and even if you didn't have anything to hold on to, you neednt worry of falling.

well, that was my experience yesterday.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

money, money, money

all throughout the year, i've been spending money like crazy. well, not exactly crazy, but almost. still can't beat my fren ina hehehe...

i was told that i've to start paying the house rent. my world suddenly turned dark, because for the first time i had to really take a serious look at my financial standing. yes, i do the budget every month. and every month i spend money like water. truth be told, i can't afford this house. i can only afford a certain sum of money but that's all. and so i was thinking and thinking and worrying, until i became stressed and slept early even on the nights i didn't go to the gym. i talked to some of my friends and they gave me some sound advice. i may not like the advice, but i know they are right. and it's really hard to go through this alone. because of the stress, i thought of taking things easy today. i had a picnic with shidah at taman tasik ampang hilir this morning.

i know that nowadays you don't see a lot of people picnicking. i love the idea of picnicking because it reminds me of those days when i used to picnic with my parents. the last time i had a picnic was with my late mother at setiu beach some 4 years ago. also, jamie oliver and nigella re-ignited that picnic passion with their episodes on cooking picnic food. i love the idea of having a cozy picnic with family members and friends. that's why when i returned to terengganu in june, i bought a picnic basket.

and so, this morning, shidah and i made our way to the lake. however, my morning already turned glum when i realised that miscalculated my monthly budget. i have to make a lot of sacrifices, and cut down on my spending. which is a big blow, because i've been indulging myself, and i mean, R-E-A-L-L-Y indulging myself.

having a picnic helped to sooth my worry a bit. probably it's the ambience, i don't know. i had a talk with shidah about my problem, and she gave me hope that i can do it because she has survived. still, i told her that it's not a bad thing if i can find a rich husband now... haha...

after the picnic, i rushed to PJ to meet my niece farah, who agreed to show me her house in subang bestari. i fell in love with the houses there. she brought me to her new house. it's spacious and i envy her. we then looked around for "for sale" signs at the new houses (such beautiful houses!) but there's none. we then stopped by at my eldest nephew's house to rest for awhile, then continued our search. i did collect 2 numbers for 2 houses, but still, subang bestari is quite a distance from KL... *sigh*

after the search, we went to OU because farah wanted to buy a birthday gift for her hubby. it was really a challenge for me not to buy anything. i can tell you that it's a challenge, especially when i saw that Jean Perry embroidered bedsheet costs only rm69!!! i tell you, it's like looking at tiramisu or smelling Famous Amous and not eat it. it's really hard going to the store AND NOT BUY anything. we passed a shop selling something which i love (but i can't remember what) and farah asked "are you sure you don't want to go in?" and i answered "no la, i might be tempted to buy and it's better that i don't see them at all". farah laughed and said "i was just testing you".

in the car, again i was lamenting to farah. farah and i have a lot in common. for one thing, she's the youngest and used to being showered with attention and being pampered. she told me that if before she could splurge, when she got married she realised that she couldn't continue her old spending habit. "but there's only me, why can't i splurge on myself?" i asked farah. and her answer - i can do that, but i won't be able to afford certain things.

both shidah and farah told me that they havent really splurged on themselves for quite some time.

some of you will understand what i'm going through. i've led a sheltered life all this while, though i wasn't born with a silver spoon, my parents provided me with a comfortable life and i'm really grateful to them.

but if shidah and farah can do it, i believe that i can too. and one more thing, this is the first saturday that i really enjoyed myself with people who are close to me.

thanx, guys.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

the power of words

when we're small, we sometimes say words we don't mean, but most of the time, we're not affected by it. but as we grow older, and as socialising teaches us how to behave in the society, we tend to be considerate towards the others. that is the way it goes.

this serves well for everybody who follows this mantra. any normal adult will have this consideration and tact when dealing with people, especially with their family and friends. okay, may be i should rephrase that statement. any normal adult should have this consideration and tact when dealing with people.

recently, a tactless friend made an uncalled for comment on a friend. it was a very immature comment, and if she thought that that was a joke, the joke has done the damage.

years ago a friend called me a name which i will not repeat here. it was during Ramadhan. strangely enough, i didn't cry. i kept silent. and strangely enough, she thinks that after all these years i've forgotten the incident and tries to be friendly in facebook. unfortunately though, one does not forget.

the person i admire the most in dealing with people is Prof Dr Sham Sani, who used to be UKM's TNC when i was a TESL student. he was a very humble person, so much so that during the convocation ceremony, he parked at the car park along with the other proud parents. the rest of his subordinates waited for their cars to be driven to the grand porch. to get his staff to do a certain task, he would ask gently and politely "(mr so and so), boleh mintak tolong tak?" this is the kind of a person that one aspires to be (aside from the Prophet)- a courteous, humble, considerate intelligent person.

there are many people who just spew words that hurt other people's feelings, consciously or unconsciously. it does not harm anyone to be considerate. because, remember, you're not talking to dummies, you're talking to people with feelings. like Rudyard Kipling says in his poem "If"

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

if you don't like yourself to be alone and with no friends, then think about other people. because, in the end, words reflect your character and friends will flee from you.

Sunday, October 04, 2009


do you remember when the 3 bujang lapok say that in the movie when they're meditating?

well, i've been tested these past 2 weeks, and it's a tough test!

the first day of raya was excusable, it's raya after all. the second day raya saw me eating nasi minyak at abg mi's house. on the third day, i had to make a move back to ampang because there was just too much food on the table and i couldn't resist it.

on the fourth day, i went to my sanctuary gladly, as it opened on 4th day raya. i realised that i didn't have the stamina and couldn't jog at the speed that i used to run before ramadhan. the biggest test after raya is to control the diet, which i've been doing unsuccessfully. can't help it. the 1 month dam of will power is shattered by food.

so it's not surprise that with all the exercising i gained another half a kg.

after a conversation with the only female trainer at the gym, i realised that i've to do exactly what she told me to do - increase the speed on the treadmill. use incline instead of walking on the flat belt. increase the time spent on the cross trainer. spend time on the machine. a lot of hardwork.

Friday, October 02, 2009

picky me

living at a hectic place like KL makes me treasure privacy and tranquility even more. now i understand why kak dah chose to move from this house to her new bungalow in bukit mahkota - because, frankly, ampang has become so busy you can't hear yourself think.

the traffic jam starts during rush hour behind my house, sometimes even on weekend nights. this also means i hear a lot of noises in my sleep, and last 3 weeks, i had to improvise on having an ear plug by just stuffing my earphones into my ears - i had migraines 4 days in a row before that and i theorised that it might be caused by the constant sounds.

to make it worse, a few nights ago some inconsiderate baboons decided to have fun by having a fireworks display behind my house - at the multi purpose court. what irritated me the most was that they chose to indulge in this activity at the time when working people usually retire for bed - the first night they played at 10pm and i had to actually stand outside my kitchen, with my hands on waist, and shouted "bising la orang nak tidur". feeling embarrassed, they moved. but unfortunately, a second car arrived. they had a "fun" show that lasted until 12.30 midnight.

the next night, when the "fun" began, i called the police. however, the culprits finished their show before the patrol police came. the third night was peaceful, and i was happy. but on the fourth night, they decided to have a go at it at 12 midnight!! i value my sleep very much, because the lack of it will cause me to have migraine. and so, i called the police again, and despite this policeman's lack of PR, i made a complaint and the patrol car arrived at 12.30. the misfits were dispersed, but by then the damage had been done, as i couldn't sleep until nearly 2 am.

i was so groggy the next day.

today i scolded the construction workers working on the neighbour's house - they cut a few branches of abang najib's used-to-be-carefully manicured bonsai bougainvillea. i stared at the branches and straightaway told them to throw them away. i was tired after coming back from school, and the last thing i wanted to see was some branches cut by someone, and then left them there. i think that my action was justified, as they do a lot of stuff that irritate me - like leaving dust all over my car, and on one fine day, they accidentally splashed some cement droplets on it!!!

okay so i might be paranoid. but since i don't have anyone else to do the job and i'm tired after working and the gym, i do not like the idea of having to trouble myself.