it's 1.25am. what am i doing up so late? actually i woke up when i heard the neighbour's car engine. then instantly, i remember the bad news that i had 3 days ago.
my head of panel told me that because there's an excess of english teachers in the morning, i'll be teaching the afternoon session next year.
when she told me this, i was trying to finish off marking the exam scripts, and as soon as the words hit me, i was devastated.
the thing that i hate most is teaching in the afternoon. i spent 12 years teaching in the morning session. in SS i was lucky because it's a single session school.in the first 2 months in the current school, i had to teach the afternoon session. i don't like it at all.
i hate coming back so late. and by the time i return home, i've no strength to muster. and besides, ever since in SS, i always taught either form 3 or the upper forms. my friend and colleague used to tell me that if any of the Old Block teachers slack in their work, they are "banished" to the New Block teaching the lower forms.
the afternoon session is like that. i feel upset, and used. i feel like i'm a ball being tossed around. never mind that i'm a senior teacher by service and holds a masters degree. never mind that i've literature students who i have to teach after school. in the end , i lost to a quite junior teacher who gets to stay in the morning session because she stays far away and can teach Geography (as they lack in teachers in the subject for the form 3 students) and that because i stay nearby and i'm single. it's back to the same reason. i hate it. and the best thing is that she doesn't know that the upstairs people considered her as a candidate as well.
i feel kecik hati. i don't mind if i'm a junior. but i'm not. so i go from being a form 4 and 5 teacher to being form 1 and 2 teacher next year. a lot of routines have to be changed next year, and i don't like it at all.
because of that, i think i may have to do something. now i understand how my Professor felt and why he resigned from the university.
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