The Cutest Medal

This, my friend, is the reason why I decided to spend a night at a hotel in Putrajaya. The length a not-so-serious runner like me will go to get this. 

I'm still err, chubby and not svelte as I thought I would be. But joining runs is a way for me to achieve something - the cute medals, for one; and also a way for me to stay fit and active.

If I didn't have an aim or objective to power walk or brisk walk (I found out that jogging is tiring and I can only run for 1 minute or 2 in a 5km run), I wouldn't be so motivated to exercise. Knowing that the cute medals will be mine changes the game. Whatever it is, I get the rewards - to stay healthy (in sya Allah) and to win the medal. 

And life is hard enough, i prefer a fun run which is,obviously, fun! 

Hope that you've an activity that keeps you going on and happy!

Life Must Go On

I'm at a place where I used to love coming to - a book shop. Perusing the latest books, the intellectual side of me wants to devour all them all. 

As a girl growing up alone at home, I once dug up a crate full of Enid Blyton books, possessions of my siblings who were then either working or in a flying school. Books were my constant companions; and that was how my love for reading began. I was fascinated on how mere words on papers could transport one to another land, or affect one's emotions (like what Rohinton Mistry's book A Fine Balance did to me). And I wanted to affect other people's emotions too, so that was how I started to write. 

In Sekolah Seri Puteri, we were encouraged to read, and hours spent in the school library and the English library helped to mould the reader-cum-writer in me. I was chosen to work in the school's English bulletin called Grapevine, and soon i started writing short stories. It was a fun time for me to explore my talent. Oh, to to hear someone tell me they enjoy reading my story was the greatest compliment.

My years while studying TESL and  English Literature further enhanced my reading and writing, especially when I was doing my postgrad studies, as I learned to become a critical reader and writer - I had to write papers on analysing writers' works. Just before I graduated from UKM, I received an offer to become a journalist, but because of the then circumstance I was in, I had to reject the offer. With such remorse, i should add. But life goes on. I went on to better myself as a reader, and enrolled in an MA programme in UM. Though daunting at first, the course helped me to come out of my shell and argue in class. It helped me to think and become a critical reader. However, just as the course helped me to become a better Literature scholar and writer, I was also aware of my ignorance and self-criticism. Which is not good, actually.

Fast forward to my life in the city, I discovered, much to my dismal; that I could not read a book anymore. Not if it's for pleasure. As I was preparing to do my PhD (which never materialised, because of this important issue), I realised that I could not finish reading a Booker prize winning fiction. I really don't know why. May be my love for reading just fizzled out? 

And whilst I was undergoing this phase, I was into baking. At the time, my mother would find me in the kitchen with all the utensils and ingredients and asked me what I was baking on that day. Once, she got so tired of eating my oh-so-filling bread that she jokingly took a few RMs from her purse and told me to buy her a Gardenia (okay, my bread was good, it's just that it's soo filling).15 years later, I have so many cake and bread pans in my cabinet, but not the passion for baking. It comes once in a while.

My next endeavour would see me dive into the world of gardening - roses, to be exact. I was a mad rosarian who would buy Austin and Tantau roses as well as collecting Old Garden Roses. All these babies of mine had taggings on them - their names, and my badge of pride. Unfortunately though, the microclimate at my house wasn't helping, as roses cannot thrive in shady areas. Despite my optimism in buying and caring for the plants, I had to end my hobby.

Recently, I was appointed as the Director of the school magazine, a post that I took seriously. I love working with kids in producing the magazine, because it reminds me of the Grapevine days when I was in SSP. Nothing beats the satisfaction I get when I see the students become better writers or photographers or graphic designers, because I know these skills will help them in their future. Until recently though. As much as I wish to stay on as the director, the ultimate decision was not in my hands. And just like the rest of my passions, I have to let this go. 

And now, I'm sitting on the steps in Kinokuniya, surrounded by thousands of books, thinking that every episode in our life is transient. We're changing; or change is forced upon us. But whatever it is, we have to accept the changes, and go through the process of self-transformation ourselves. Because the wheel of life must go on.

Panggilan Pulau

Any P Ramlee movie fan will tell you about this film. But I'm not going to talk about the film today. 

I made a trip to Jeju-do on the 28th November till 2nd December 2019. I was thrilled as I love anything Korean (well, not literally all) and knowing that Koreans love going to Jeju for a vacay excite me more.

Salina and I joined a group tour and thought this was going to be that kind of "sit-back-and-relax" kind of vacay. Boy, was I wrong. 

We reached the island in the afternoon, and after checking in, we went to Woljeongri coast. By the time we reached the place it was dusk. The wind was fierce and cold. 

  

  As we were walking, clutching our coats tightly, Salina mentioned a woman performing on the street. The woman was young, and we started chatting with her. She's a Russian psychologist who now travels around Korea, and earning some money by dancing using some pyro techniques. Must be nice to be able to just quit your job and follow your heart's desires. I envy her. 

All throughout my stay, I sampled Korean s traditional 한식, and because of halal concern, we had a lot of seafood. Alas, I'm allergic to them. So, I did not really enjoy the food except for the halal dakgalbi at Cheonhaechon shabu shabu restaurant in Jeju City. I did try the braised saury and mackerel, dried haddock soup and the acorn jelly, as I often see the Koreans eat them on TV. 

Koreans love to hike. You can say that it's their national favourite pastime, like playing badminton or soccer is for us. As I went to Jeju, I forgot about this, and suddenly I found myself hiking like a Korean (I normally avoid hiking like the plague, and this, my running groupmates know very well) going 산에 타요. It was actually very interesting, really, if only I had prepared myself for it. We went exploring the Manjanggul Lava Cave, and I had a hard time to walk as the ground was uneven because of the hardened lava. It was dark, as well, as conservationists do not want further corrosion or ecological damage to occur due to lighting. 

 We went to Seopjikoji as well, hoping to see haenyo 해녀 performing a dance and then dive into the sea, but the waves were high, and so we had to settle for the sight of them selling their catch.

 Next, we went to a folk cultural village called Seongup Folk Village, and despite not being in the itinerary, I persuaded the tour guide to talk to a hanbok rental tauke, and voila'

I think the highlight of my tour is this, I've been to Korea 3 times, and this was my first time trying out a hanbok. So exciting!

We also walked into a cedar forest, and this was what i envisioned my Jeju tour to be. 

We even went tangerine picking (which was in season) afterwards. Such joy! 

We went to 2 other places - a waterfall and a clif which reminded me of Game of Thrones - all in the rain!

And we went to the teddy bear museum, and as I just finished watching 궁 drama, I was ecstatic to see the teddy bears in their likeness

Jeju-do is a nice place for a visit especially if you are a nature lover and love hiking. It is a beautiful island, with beautiful people who are thrilled when they hear you speak their language albeit a handful phrases. 

My "me" time

Usually, I'll reward myself by going somewhere. Come to think of it, it doesn't have to be "a reward" hahaha.. it's more of how I feel at the moment. So, today, I thought I should pay my favourite mall a visit and walk. Actually i needed the walk because I'm using an app to count calories 🙄 (yes, again, because I can't lose weight without tracking what I eat) and I need to hit at least 7k steps. Of course, when you walk in a mall you're bound to buy something, right?

In the spirit of autumn, and for the upcoming trip, I bought 2 jumpers and 2 thermals. It's not going to be overly cold there, read in Accuweather it's probably going to be 15°C day time. Hope I can get some nice pictures over there!

And... this isn't an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment purchase. My old cast iron-enamel skillet has a chip on it's surface and I'm fond of it. Cast iron cookware is expensive,but it can last for decades if it's well-maintained. So, I found a Lodge skillet in Ace Hardware and now as part of proper maintenance, i've to season it with oil and bake it in the oven. 

So that's my story for today. 안녕!

I'm back!

Phew! It's been a long time since I blogged in here. I must've admit, the lure of facebook and Instagram practically killed my passion for writing, especially the latter, because it's good for pictures and not for long texts.

Just a few hours ago, I actually missed the feeling of writing and sharing about myself. More importantly, writing. Before this I thought it's cool to be someone who knows how to minimise and economise the use of words. 

I guess that's not me.

So, welcome back to myself! And I hope to make this blog a more happening place than my Instagram *LOL*

Will & Kate in Malaysia!

yes, many Malaysians are excited that the world's most beloved royal couple are in Malaysia. I, for one, am one of those, but I wasn't at KLCC nor was I invited to the tea party *sigh*. So I settled for just some photos that I saw on Yahoo news. 

Some might be perplexed as to why such a fascination over these royals. Last year, a teacher was amused to see that I went through a lot of hassle to watch the royal wedding live on the net. I told her, "you haven't met my sister who can name all the royals be it Malay or British".

So why such a fascination? may be it's because they are the closest we have to fairy tale figures. and let's face it, we need that dose of fairy tales once in awhile. and when one talks about Prince William, one will surely mention his most glamorous mother, the late Diana, Princess of Wales. I watched her wedding to Prince Charles way back in 1981 and I thought that fairy tales do come true. I was 8 then.

31 years later, i m still a hopeless romantic who believes in fairy tales, because Kate Middleton found her Prince Charming, and her Prince Charming put that famous sapphire engagement ring onto her finger...

okay so where's my Prince Charming?

Breaking the Fast with Friends

last week, I broke fast with some friends. one was with my Seri Puteri friends, and that was a nice one. Shidah and I went to Haslam near Tawakkal hospital and met with Yeen and Diani who were waiting for us at the other side of the road. and after hugging we made our way up to the air-conditioned room and started chatting. then came Milia and Mas (who I call Claire Daines, as she looks like the actress) and we started gossiping. yes we have been friends for so long, since our Form 1 hostel days of crying due to homesickness and white bedsheets and locker spotchecks. 

the food at Haslam was okay, if you don't like a long buffet spread that costs a bomb. it's just nice for a cosy buka puasa. we were there until 9.something, and a few minutes before we parted, June dropped by.

yesterday, my TESL friend Sazi came to buka puasa at the house, after postponing it last week. i made lemon meringue pie but the lemon curd was still runny and i had to do some adjustments. sedih. we went to pasar ramadhan in Taman Melawati. it was my first time there this year, and though it was exciting with some stalls selling novelty dishes like Chinese dumplings and Italian pastas, i realised that nothing beats homecooked dishes - because i bought nasi tomato and the ayam masak merah was too spicy and sweet. the nasi arab that i had for buka puasa was okay but it set me back by rm10 since the seller used extra long basmathi rice. 

oh well...

after this I've to start rummaging my fridge and think about what to cook for today.

My La Dolce Vita tour

i finally took that trip that i planned some 5 years ago. it was a blast! i longed to to see Venice and take a gondola ride and stroll along the river of Florence, which is the centre of Rennaissance during the reign of de Medicis. and i did!

somebody told me that you don't just "insert" an Italian city in a European tour itinerary. Italy is a destination that should be enjoyed and discovered slowly, and not in a hurry.

K.Nan and I went to 5 cities - Milan, Verona, Venice, Rome and Pisa - in that order. after a 16 hour flight with a brief stopover at Abu Dhabi, we arrived in Milan in the morning. something happened to our group. because of a possibly contaminated food served on flight, someone in our group suffered a food poisoning and, threw up at the windscreen of the bus, of all places. our designated bus driver, Bruno started jabbering in Italian, and i guessed the words weren't complimentary. our tour manager, Leon (who is the tauke's son) told us not to worry about Bruno and said that it's the Italian thing. he proceeded to tell us that pickpocketing is notorious not only in Milan,but throughout Italy. oh great! i thought drily.

that morning we went to Galleria Vittorio Emmanuele which is a building with glass topped roof and houses world renowned brands such as Prada (which is Milan's own product) and Louis Vuitton. there were a few restaurants and gelateria and i had my first Italian pizza and gelato here. we went to snap pics at Piazza Duomo but later quickly went back to the galleria as there were some unsavoury looking men looking at us. we felt safer at the galleria as the police made regular rounds there. 

after Milan, we went to Verona. there s a well-preserved stadium there which is called the Roman Arena and still in use.

 we heard Pink Floyd was going to perform there. of course, the main attraction is the Giuletta's balcony, or Juliet to you and me. obviously it's not really Juliet's balcony.

after Verona we made our way to Venice. Venice, we discovered, is an island.  of all the Italian cities that we visited, Venice is the most beautiful, with palaces and other grand buildings. i'm reminded of Heath Ledger's movie in which he played Giacomo Casanova and the setting was in Venice.  of course, no trip to Venice is complete without the gondola ride, so we paid 25 euros each. we were told that for a sum of money the gondolier would sing. our gondolier refused to sing, but switched on his radio instead. we also went to Murano glass factory. very nice pieces but i was very nervous all the time we were there. delicate goblets and vases... could you imagine what would happen if that was my clumsy day and i knocked the pieces down? in Venice, i purchased some Venetian lace and masks that the Italians wear during the Carnivale.

after walking for so long until our feet couldnt walk anymore, we arrived in Florence to have dinner. bus tours arent allowed to enter tourist spots, so we had to walk for half an hour to the restaurant. it was a muslim owned restaurant, and it was a nice change to be able to eat pastas and pizzas without worrying and asking the waiter about the ingredients and the halalness.we didn't tour Florence that day, we proceeded to

Rome. oh, before that i have to tell you about Tuscan countryside, because Florence sits in Tuscany. it was all that i dreamed of, only that i wished we had stopped at one of the villages and learned how to make fresh pasta. the Tuscan country always have villas on green rolling hills with vineyards or olive or cypress trees completing the picture.

Rome was very warm. we reached there mid-morning and spent hours lepaking as some of our groupmates went to the Vatican City. we then went to take pics near the piazza vittori emmanuele, the Coliseum,

 the Forum. theres a sense of thousands years of antiquity and civilisation when you see all these ruins. i half expected to see Julius Caesar speaking at the Forum.  after the ruins we went to take pics  at the Spanish steps (though i don't know the significance of the steps) and then the Trevi fountain (where people always toss the coins hoping that they will return there). that evening we had dinner at another Muslim owned restaurant. splendid chicken curry.

after Rome, we retraced our steps to Florence or Firenze as the Italians call it. just imagine this is the city where Michelangelo, da Vinci and a lot other sculptors, painters, thinkers, writers and poets stayed. we were given a tour by a local guide named Francesca, who brought us to the bridge which was owned by de Medicis.

 that evening Bruno brought us to Pisa. the hotel that we stayed in was not familiar with Asians, especially Muslims so dinner wasn't that great. we had a choice of minestrone and basic pasta with olive oil for starter and baked fish as the main course. i had maggi afterwards. the next day we went to Pisa Leaning Tower. it was amazing to see that it's still standing tall.

on the last day we went to Serravalle which is in Milan. this wasnt sightseeing, this is for those serious shoppers who want to shop at outlet malls.

after 5 days of tour we returned to Malaysia. i must say that Italy is a must go to place for any avid traveller. still have a few places left in my list.

The Moral of the Story is....

assalamualaikum n hello again. i havent written in a long time, probably  for almost 6 months now. there are many things to write about, many things to share. it's just the matter of finding the right time to write - as all writers will tell you. when you write, you must find the right moment to do so. you don't simply barge in and start uttering pure nonsense because writing is an art.

the last time i wrote must be the time when i just moved into the new house. well, here i am some 6 months later. the house is full of feline hairs everywhere. not to forget the ubiquitous scratching posts, cat trees and cat beds. on the day i change the cat litter the house will smell of apples. on the day before i change the cat litter though, well.... you don't want to be anywhere near the cats' room.

something happened to me earlier this year. the previous owner conveniently forgot to mention that the area is "keras". i kept hearing furniture being moved upstairs (my neighbours') at ungodly hours and the final straw was the few times i had nightmares. a lady bomoh came and started spewing hocus pocus and left me confused. she said there's something wrong with me and nothing wrong with the house. i spent the days feeling so dejected and low. but i kept praying to Allah to send me help and after awhile i began to see that the bomoh tried to mislead me. later an ustaz from Darul Syifa' came to cleanse the house. i felt better then and think this was a test for me. 

after the incident, i began to enrol in a tafsir class at Little Khalifah Shop and met this wonderful kakak who introduced me to various classes. i remember telling her that i love going to majlis ilmu and suddenly the next thing i knew my schedule was packed! Aqidah class on mondays, 2 tafsir classes, 3 hadith classes and once a month i will attend Ust Roslan Mohamad's class. it is hectic, and in the first week i was exhausted what with school and tuition classes and all. but i'm surviving now, and i really love going to the classes. it's not like when i went for M.A. classes years ago. then, it was all about recognition. now there's an inner joy whenever i attend these majlis ilmu.what is important is to lead my life according to Al quran and sunnah (hadiths). i believe that when we ask to be given hidayah and to continue be given hidayah, Allah will grant us so. i believe in signs and divine intervention because they happened to me. sceptics may snigger, but then, only a person who has been granted hidayah will understand me.

in matters of career, well, despite my whines about the students in my school, i realised that i'm placed there for a reason. in SS i pursued recognition and and gained satisfaction in teaching the good students.of course, it was a total shock when i came to Padang Tembak. that doesn't lessen this year despite being my 3rd year there because i'm teaching the last class (the scoobydoos managed to raise my blood pressure) but i guess i'm supposed to learn that material and worldly gains don't matter.

well, that's about it, folks. hope to write again about my next trip in june.

 

The glasses for the myopics

the first time i discovered that i was myopic, i was in denial. it was 2008, and my friend Anne jokingly suggested that i was myopic when i had to hold the phone at a longer distance to read a text message. months after that i found small printed letters becoming blurry. 

in 2010 when i went to change my long sighted glasses, i told the optician that my eyesight should be checked for myopia. his answer? "you're not yet 40, you're still okay". but this year, the myopia started to become a constant irritation. the distance at which i hold the printed text is getting longer and longer. a few months ago, i went to the same shop to have my eyes tested. the optician obliged. he inserted several lenses into the frame and asked me to read the projected letters on the wall, as the standard procedure requires. this time he exclaimed "Haiyaaa, you sudah ada penyakit tua laa" yeah right, thank you for saying that out loud. despite my wish to use a multifocal, the optician told me to wait for 2012 when my eyesight should worsen and the power increases. 

this afternoon, i decided to pay the shop another visit, as i knew that if i didnt have multifocal glasses, my reading would be hampered. that, and also because i discovered that because of my constant use of phone to log on to facebook, i've been having migraine for the past 3 days. so the guy told me that i didn't have to change the frame. haaah?? you've got to be kidding. ask anybody who wears glasses and he will tell you that when you increase your lens power that means you change your frame. most of the time, that is. but not this shop. the other guy did the eyesight test again on me and before he did, he said

" there is a cheaper alternative, there is this lens that relaxes your eyes. it's cheaper than multifocal but it can last until you're 40"

i wondered how the business is doing, because the opticians are clearly more interested in the well-being of my purse than the well-being of their tauke's wallet. so i voiced out my opinion

 "people do business to make profit and here you are asking me to get a cheaper alternative".

sheepishly, the guy said "the tauke is more interested in the welfare". well, that's a first...and yup, i have the multifocal glasses made for me. no reason to be in denial anymore. burned a hole in my pocket too.

From My New House

assalamualaikum, greetings from my new house! am logging in from my studyroom/guestroom, with all the books still tucked in the boxes and plastic bags strewn everywhere. yes, it's chaos in this room.

i haven't really unpacked my clothes, but i love my room - because it's all pink except for the furniture. like my friend daliey says, it's a "pink overload". i love my living and dining room too, it's what i've always visualised an English country decor to be. well, may be some wood panels and landscape paintings would do, but then it's a small house and i can't fit everything in. even then my contractor and the movers were shaking their heads when they saw the many boxes and the furniture. what can i say, i'm a hoarder. i can't imagine myself being a minimalist.

tomo and pixie were so shocked to be at a new place that the fat tomo actually flattened himself and crawled under the cage (and i thought it's impossible for a cat his size to do so). they were sniffing around on the first day, and last night while i was watching Princess' Man they were doing their routine of chasing each other. still, i can't get them to eat but that's normal for cats. as soon as they acclimatise and adapt themselves to a new place they'll be okay.

it was raining in the afternoon when i moved so the floor was cold. and my bare feet couldn't tolerate the coldness and i knew that i've to wear slippers at all times in the house. before this 3 people told me that there is no need for me to install the air conditioning unit. and now i believe them. 

it's still a bit strange to be in my own house as i was used to the house in ampang, but this is my house now, and insyaallah i'll have a good life here.

Last Day in Ampang

i'm feeling very tired now. i'm listening to Bruno Mars' sappy It Will Rain and it augments my tiredness (i love the song, though, and it's an apt choice for Breaking Dawn OST). since after subuh i've been packing and transferring stuff - my Kitchen Aid, my books, and all the spices and herbs.

the newly mopped floors are no more clean as the workers have been working here and there so i guess tomorrow i've to mop it again. the contractors' sons helped me in hanging the paintings. it has to be done today or else the neighbours will complain tomorrow if they hear any drilling sound. i've to be at the house again at 2pm to monitor the astro technician installing the satellite dish and to wait for my new wing chair.

i've never liked moving actually. i'm a person who's used to routines, unlike what Salman Rushdie proposes and encourages in his books - "to be uprooted". i've grown comfortable here, with convenience just a few steps away despite the notorious traffic jam. but change is necessary, and insyaallah i'll be happy at the new place.

Countdown to Moving Day

September and October has been 2 busy months for me. i had to be the chief invigilator for PMR and on top of that i've to attend my nephew's and niece's weddings. and i'm also busy with the new house. 

at last, even before the final cheque was released, the previous owner decided to give me the house keys and immediately i called the people - the contractor, the curtain maker, the insect screen installer (there are a lot of mosquitoes around, and also it serves as a barrier for Miss Pixie Lompat and Mr Tomo Debab from venturing out). when i showed the contractor what's to be done, words couldn't express my excitement as i conjured up the image of my finished townhouse. i excitedly told him that i wanted the kitchen wall to be painted in saffron yellow and the kitchen cabinet in olive green as i want it to be a Tuscan kitchen. well, my hope was dashed as the contractor told me that because of the kitchen cabinet was solid wood and sealer was used to seal the original wood colour, the paint wouldn't last long. oh well, i decided to retain the kitchen cabinet colour.

then i totally went crazy when i went to the lighting shop. months back, i bought a chandelier for the dining room. this time i saw a wall light that really says me. i had to have it even though i know it doesn't serve any practical purpose in my bedroom. then i saw another wall light which reminds me of Lord of the Rings - it looks elfish to me. i got to have it. the contractor had a case of pening.but in the end the elf wall light stands perched outside my doorstep and i just love it. 

there's nothing white in my house except for the plaster ceiling. all the walls have been painted yellow, green and pink (duh!) so it's a reminiscent of children's crayons. my theme will generally be English country, but mine will not be the typical malaysianised Vantage style. 

apart from being busy with invigilating and attending my anak sedara's receptions, i've been transferring stuff to the new house - mostly because i've too many things (i'm a hoarder from a family of hoarders) so i've been transferring my fictions, my dinnerware sets, my pots and pans and my huge collection of cake pans. so if you ask me, i'm nervous that i can't get them all transferred in time. 

today the cleaner will come to clean the house. the insect screen will be installed and hopefully the contractor will have completed the tabletop that i want in the bathroom. 

i'm so excited!

A Busy and Fruitful September and October

happy eid mubarrak everyone! i haven't blogged in here for awhile. been busy with food (as usual) and school. i've been transferred to the morning session now, to replace a teacher who's now on maternity leave. it's a lot more different in the morning session than in the afternoon session, because the students are not afraid of you anymore and don't even hesitate to do "mischiefs". 

well anyway, September and October is a very busy time for me. for one thing, my nephew Zhaffri and and niece Janna will be getting married (not to each other). so that means i'll be busy on 2 or 3 separate weekends. then, there is the Lembaga thingy which teachers are well aware of, so i'm busy running here and there attending briefings and doing stuff. and today, well, today aside from attending some open houses, i'll be receiving my condo keys! yay! buying a house isn't the same as inheriting a house (okay, duh!), so when you finally get the keys you can't help but feel that pride and satisfaction and then you smile, because you'll be paying for the house for at least a quarter of a century. after months of dealing with lawyers and the bank, you can stand back, look at the rooms and finally say "my very own sanctuary". yep, my house in the city.

i'll be seeing the contractor and the curtain maker tomorrow, and hopefully if everything works out okay, insyaallah i'll be moving to the new house in the third week of October, when all the hullabaloos will have died down. i'll be posting the pics to the new house if i have the chance.

Waiting for Eidul Fitri

when i was little, eidul fitri meant abundant food (usually nasi dagang), fireworks and duit raya. oh, and of course, new baju raya and shoes to show off.  eidul fitri is a time of joy for everyone, and i knew for one my late mother had this content and happy smile when she saw all her children and grandchildren coming back for raya. there would be queues to the bathroom, foods bought at pasar ramadhan would fill the dining table and everybody would sit to "chup" their eating place at any space available in the house.

now that i'm almost reaching 40, my perspective in life has changed, and because of this, eidul fitri also has a different meaning for me. in the past it was all about childish glee over meeting family members and eating wonderful food, but now eidul fitri doesn't mean that much to me.

no, i'm not depressed. i'm not disillusioned.

to me, there's a shift in order of importance in life. in my opinion, the one that we should celebrate and look forward to isn't the celebration of eidul fitri (although it is a day of celebration for our triumph against nafs) but instead we should celebrate ramadhan. in my previous blog entry i wrote that ramadhan is about repentance and the chance to increase our ibadahs. i feel at peace and tranquil. because of this, to me, ramadhan is beautiful.  actually i feel sad that ramadhan is ending.

it does not mean that i don't want to celebrate eidul fitri. i do have new baju raya and new shoes, and i can't wait till i meet with my family members again. it's okay to celebrate eidul fitri, but celebrate it sensibly and not to overdo it.

Be Thankful of What You Have

that was what my brother Abang Halim used to tell me when i needed his help in the past. back then, being the youngest, i was self-centred and oblivious to other people's suffering.

in this month of Ramadhan, the Panel of Islamic Studies in my school has launched a Ramadhan donation fund for the unfortunate students. teachers are welcome to contribute their zakat or fidyah to the fund. and some teachers, on their own effort, chipped in to buy groceries to some deserving unfortunate students. i wasn't informed of this until i saw the groceries all in boxes, and when i heard this story i was moved so deeply that i felt i had missed an opportunity to do some good. 

when i taught in Sultan Sulaiman, i didn't see all this scenario. my former students were all children of Tengkus, Datuks, business tycoons and who's who in Terengganu. because of that activities could be done more extravagantly and even my LCDS members were willing to fork out RM250 to pay for their summer camp at an island.

some of my Padang Tembak students are children of policemen or army officers, but most of  the students live in PPR or only have single parents to look after them. and so, the plight of my students in Padang Tembak taught me humility and the importance of charity and paying zakat. 

Fasting does not only teach us to discipline ourselves and guard our nafs, it also teaches us compassion and syukur which lead to stronger ukhuwah among muslims.

The Joys of Ramadhan

Most people will associate Ramadhan with Ramadhan bazaars that suddenly crop up like mushrooms during this 1 month. most will think of their favourite foods. most shopping complexes begin selling kuih raya before Ramadhan. most hotels proudly advertise their Ramadhan buffet offers. raya songs are played everywhere. most people are busy buying raya clothes and raya furniture. but most people forget that this month is a month of ibadah and place it second to all the things (food, mostly) they like about Ramadhan.

Ramadhan is about ibadah and that's it. it is to show our devotion to Allah, to remind us that we're not invincible and that we've a lot to thank for. what is there not to thank? we have a roof to shelter us, we have food to fill our tummy, we still have air to breathe, we have freedom and we still have time to reflect, repent and become better muslims and muslimahs by performing ibadahs.some may find praying sunnah prayers tedious, but those who have experienced sakinah or tranquility will gladly do them for the chance of acquiring that inner peace and contentment.

last year i wanted to do everything properly, as i was preparing myself to go for hajj. after the life changing experience, i began to see life in a different way, as if in a different hue, or to be hyped about it, you can say i see things in HD. i began to learn more about Islam as i know there are so many things that i don't know. so i enrolled in Fiqh Ibadah class with my friend Zana. the class was an eye opener. i learned the proper way to perform solat, fast and pay zakat. and i thank Allah for giving me hidayah, as He gives hidayah to whoever he chooses. i began to appreciate the ilm that is given, and the more i feel calm and tranquil.

it is through Ramadhan that we learn humility. we understand the unfortunates' hunger and learn to be compassionate about other people. hence, the giving of zakat (not only zakat fitrah, but also zakat on gold and salary, which is wajib) and sadaqah. through tadarus and jemaah terawih prayers we instil brotherhood and sisterhood of Islam, and through tazkirah and any form of teachings of Islam we receive ilm (which is compulsory).

if you ask me now, i don't feel the excitement for raya. i'm only thinking of Ramadhan, and i will miss it when takbir raya is recited.

Fasting Month

Despite my "fasting practice" during Syaaban last month, i was almost like a train wreck on the first day of Ramadhan. the naughty students joined me and couldn't even shout or do their usual mischief (which would make me scream afterwards) and were lying on the cool floor of English Resource Centre instead. the heat was almost unbearable. i had to tell myself to be patient and thought that it's even hotter in Makkah now.  

that, coupled with a few other tasks that the teachers had to complete this month, was really a test.

i still haven't moved into the new house, because the bank is really slow in processing documents and now i'm afraid that i've to pay the late charges to the house seller. truth be told, i already lost the excitement in moving into the new house, after the endless calls to the bank and the lawyer. why can't property purchases be simpler? i'll probably get the key next month. i hope the excitement will revive itself then.

for this fasting month, i only went once to pasar Ramadhan and even that was on a weekend, as the traffic congestion is really bad in Ampang on weekdays. i had a craving for karipap but didn't want to go through the tedious task of rolling and cutting the dough and the other tasks that entail it so i thought, well, may be i could just buy some. i remember buying a roti john (without the overly sweet chilli sauce and the too-much-mayo), karipap and some cara manis (even though making it is simpler). the only thing that was satisfactory was the kuih cara. the karipap tasted of overpowering curry powder and the roti john was a bit burned. after that i vowed never to buy at Param again, cooking my own instead, with some occasional trips to the golden arches.

in terms of ibadah, alhamdulillah, i perform terawih at home. my pengajian islam amali ustaz has told us lots of times that we should follow the Prophet's sunnah, so i perform only 8 rakaat, as the 20 rakaat  was done by the sahabahs. 

i remember what Ustaz Hj Ahmad Rosli (the Rayhar ustaz) told us when we were about to return from hajj last year. he said that once we go back, the challenges are even greater in trying to retain the mabrur. this is also true of Ramadhan. yes, terawih is done only in Ramadhan but the other ibadahs should also be done continuously even after Ramadhan - qiyamulail, tilawah, paying zakat and zikir, as they are not exclusive ibadahs for Ramadhan. 

let's hope that we have a good Ramadhan as what it should be - filled with ibadahs and repentance.

Furniture Hunting

now that the legal process of getting the condo is on the way, i'm now on the hunt for furniture. no, i don't buy the run-off-the-mill and cookie cutter furniture, on the contrary, i like my furniture to be of character with an interesting story behind it. and why, do you ask, do i bother to do all this? because i intend to decorate my house in english country style and my kitchen, in tuscan style. now, before you say anything about english country furniture being ubiquitously sold everywhere in Malaysia, let me point out that most of the white or green furniture with country roses on them adopt the shabby chic concept, and not strictly an english country concept.

so anyway, what i did was, i hunt for second hand furniture. i don't mind buying second-hands, so long as they are durable and serve their purpose. this means that i've to find real wooden furniture - made of teak and rosewood. i've been lucky so far, as i purchased some reasonably priced but lovely items. hopefully my lucky streak will continue even after i've moved into the new house.

The Cats n The Scam

life with Tomo around is a routine now. Tomo is a dear, and i find that it's not difficult to take care of a cat. and because of that i've this yearning to find a persian, because i love a persian's short and stumpy legs. persian cats are walking carpets just waiting for you to cuddle them. 

and so like a madwoman bent on her sole purpose, i scoured the net trying to purchase a persian kitten online. obviously, the price is steep. then suddenly an ad caught my eye. this person, so-called Wayne Wright, wanted to sell his persian kittens for only rm200 each. that's really really cheap! even a kampung cat can cost more.so i contacted him through email, and he responded warmly. i thought that he's a mat salleh, and he told me of the sad story of how his daughter who loved the kittens had passed away and he wanted to let go of the kittens. okay, emotional appeal established. then he said he's living in Singapore and will use a home delivery. i contacted a daughter of my friend who is also interested in cats so she also contacted him. i began to smell a rat after praying a few days ago. i realised that the pics that he sent me are taken in a studio and none in real environment. i asked him several times about the food given (as all true cat enthusiasts would do) and i even told him what i feed Tomo. when finally i asked him for the latest picture, he gave me another set of staged pics and seemed a little bit angry. and then to answer my question about the food he gave to the kittens, he repeated exactly what i had written about what i feed Tomo with. and that's when i knew that this is a scam. instantly i recalled some news in the paper regarding this - how unsuspecting women had to pay thousands and thousands to receive a certain item from overseas and i knew that was what this so-called Wayne Wright wanted to do. so i cancelled the order, to which he never replied afterwards and i called the police. the next morning, before i lodged a police report, i received several emails from an email add "globalpet80@yahoo.com" asking for fee to pay for the delivery of the phantom kittens. the content itself was a joke, because it was so amateurish and pathetic and i knew even i could do better than that. i guess it was his desperate attempt to make me believe the scam. 

yes i know. some of you would think "how could you be so stupid?" but alhamdulillah, Allah was there to save me.

anyway, in the midst of all this hullaballoo, i went to see the vet because Tomo has this recurrent conjunctivitis. the vet advised me to keep Tomo indoors and not in a cage at the patio. i wanted to buy Tomo a hooded cat litter tray, so that there will be no unpleasant smell in the house. and since i wanted to visit As, i decided to bring Tomo along in his carrier and later stop at the pet shop where i put Pixie up for sale.at the pet shop, i saw Pixie. and i felt guilty. how could i have this yearning for a persian when i already have another kitten (never mind that she's DMH) and i left her at the shop? pixie was well, but thin and her limbs were weak as she spent all her time in the small cage. i told the man that i wanted Pixie back and he was more than happy to give her back to me.

at home, i saw there's a vast difference between the 2 kittens. Tomo is confident, healthy and well-fed. Pixie looked lost and wanted to sit most of the time. today's the third day she's back home and the 2 of them have been scampering around the house. Tomo seems to be smitten with her, and was gentleman enough to let her eat from his bowl. 

yes, i still have this yearn for a persian, because it reminds me of Fluffy, but then i've 2 wonderful kittens in the house, and i want to shower them with my love and lots of food.