My Rest Day

all this while, i was puzzled by my constant fatigue spells. i wondered if it was because of my weight, as the body fat analysis machine i stepped on last year recorded my biological age as 59 (that was before i started losing weight). but then it can't be, since i've been going to the gym religiously. one should feel healthy and energised, right?

my friend Iris commented that i looked fresh when i met her last week. that made me happy.

but i still feel tired, and sometimes in the morning, after an 8 hour sleep, i still feel like i can do with some more snooze time.

yesterday i had a meeting. and i had to present a financial report. those who know me well know that numbers and i don't go along. i'm a language and literature expert, not a mathematician. and so i was struggling to finish the report when i felt the vein in my temple swell and throb (aka as migraine). went to school with the pain still throbbing. presented the report, which paled in comparison to the other treasurer's report (which is much much detailed, and presented in 3 different ways, along with receipt numbers to prove). mine looked rudimentary. but never mind, she's a math teacher.

the lesson went well until my last class, with 3 jokers there to irritate me with their lack of interest in studies (and they're half literate) and the fact that i had to shout on top of my lungs since the little kids (the form 1 students) at the next block were cheering their friends who were playing sepak takraw like mad . with all the ruckus, i couldn't cope, especially since i was trying to explain to the class a chapter in The Phantom of the Opera.

at the end of school day, i told my colleague Dayang i wanted to unwind. but i was too tired to go to KLCC for some shopping therapy. slept early, and hoped that i'd be fresh the next day.

wrong.

i was dead tired. woke up for subuh prayer, had breakfast, and by 9am i felt sleepy again. that meant i was tired. to make it worse, i felt the temple throbbing again, and this time the migraine spread to my left side of the head. i ignored the pain and got ready to go to the gym. by the time i got in the car, i was undecided whether to go to the gym and later to work or to take an MC. i was already at the LRT station when i asked myself

"Can i jog on the treadmill in this condition?"

Honestly, no.

"Can i teach in this condition?"
i don't like to teach when i don't feel well. the students can feel it.

and so, i went to the clinic. my blood pressure reading was good. okay, that's a big relief, since i've been watching my diet and going to the gym. but the big question was, why do i have this constant fatigue? so i asked the doctor. his answer? mental tiredness. that, and also the stress of living in KL.

so today i spent the entire day resting and not going anywhere, not even to MaxValu. i feel refreshed now, and at least i know that it's because of stress i feel this way.

makes me think of my hometown - the sea air, the fresh fish, and no traffic congestion. if only, if only.