My No Ong Day

Note: "ong" is a chinese word which loosely means "luck".

it happened last wednesday, when i was about to enter my class in English Resource Centre. one of the young teachers informed me that my car had a flat tyre. i was worried then and rushed to where i parked, which was near to the boys toilet.

there it was, my car, with one flat tyre. there was also a distinct smell of urine near the tyre. i had just changed all the 4 tyres the previous day. i felt like weeping, but most importantly i felt at loss. and helpless. didn't know what to do. and at that time i wished i had a husband to call to. i panicked and called the honda service centre hoping they could help. the mechanic who answered my call said it'd take him longer to go through the jam to reach the school.

finally i saw another young teacher, the easy-going shidi. i asked for his help, and he helped to change my tyre. as he was changing the tyre, we talked and i came to a conclusion that one of the students must have done it. i remember scolding a group of boys earlier for creating a mayhem at the back of the hall. and i remember that i scolded the same group of boys the previous day for trying to cut Science class.

the incident shook me so badly that i didn't want to go down and supervise the boys going to the surau. 

you begin to wonder what's happening to all the kids nowadays. all i want to do is make them realise that there is more to life than just idling their life away not doing anything at school, not bothering to study at all. i want them to feel empowered and be able to change their life. but instead, they retaliated and gave a pay back.

why am i here?

Happy with My Achievement

going to the gym for the first month is easy for some people. they're too excited with the prospect of losing weight and feeling good. but most of the time the excitement and enthusiasm wanes after that.

i try to be a regular gym goer because i still have a long way to achieve my goal. and so it's a pleasant surprise when a staff commented that i'm so "rajin" to regularly workout at the gym. and what is nicer is when your effort pays off. 

it is hard when you think that you need to do cardio for at least 40 minutes then do probably 20-30 minutes of strength training. i thought that jogging on the treadmill will get easier after some time, but it doesn't, since i've to constantly challenge myself and not to lull my body into plateau. that means i'll be out of breath after 10 minutes of jogging, feeling as if i can just drop on the spot. that's the feeling. and, yesterday when i stopped my mp3 player, i was shocked to hear my heavy breathing. but in a way, it's good because you know you're pushing yourself and that means the body fat is burnt.

the abs exercise, though still present a challenge to me, isn't as hard as it used to be, since i know from the wall mirror that my form is correct. that means i don't look like a klutz hehehe. when it comes to strength training i know which weight to use, and how much my body can take it. 

although i'm happy there is still a thing that is bothering me, which is fatigue! i can't run away from that unfortunately.

p.s. lost another 1.5kg in the span of a week

The Best of Times while Travelling

last night i was watching a show on Discovery Travel &Living. it was anthony bourdain's list of memorable dishes all around the world, and i thought i wanted to do the same here, but this is a list of my favourite moments at favourite places while travelling, in no particular order.

1. The visit to Victoria Market, Melbourne

what i love about this market is they sell a lot of stuff here. there are pastry shops, shops selling pastas, sausages, sweets, nuts and the wet market that sells fresh produce. i love the smell of peaches and fresh basil. i think i must have visited the market every day for the 5-day stay there. i fell in love with the almond croissant, or croissant with custard cream.

2. The Visit to Camden Market, London

Camden market is a market to go to if you want to buy souvenirs and curios. i had crepes and the most wonderful orange juice here (for one pound sterling). actually, the taste of the orange juice stood out from the rest of the sensations when i was at the market.

3. Praying at Masjidil Haram

this is a dream of every Muslim, to be able to perform umrah and haj, and to be able to devote oneself solely for Allah in the holiest of place on earth. it was a surreal experience, especially when i saw the Kaabah. i felt at peace here especially during jamaah prayers when the imam's voice reverberate throughout the mosque. unfortunately though, cameras aren't allowed inside the grounds, but i managed to find a picture online.this was where impure thoughts are given swift retribution (i experienced that myself) and miracles also happened (i also experienced this on 2 occasions). Allahu akbar!

4. Praying at Masjid Nabawi (The Prophet's Mosque)

The guards here are very strict! as usual, cameras aren't allowed inside the mosques (or risk being turned away from the mosque). i love the place because this is where the Prophet is buried, and next to his tomb is Raudhah, the Eden on Earth.this was where i prayed so that my umrah would be done smoothly without any obstacles.

5. The visit to Chateau de Versailles

ever since my sister showed me the pictures of the chateau during her European tour, i had this dream that if i ever reached paris, i'd visit the chateau. and i did! it didn't matter that my tour guide was a lovely young French girl who spoke heavily French accented English and that it took all my concentration to understand her - to be in the palace of King Louis XIV was enough! i love the Hall of Mirrors, which

was what the Sun King wanted - to inspire awe.

6. The Visit to Stonehenge,Salisbury

I must say that when Astro introduced the Discovery Travel & Living channel, i was and still am addicted to it. and it's because of this channel i was introduced to many wonderful and historical sites, such as this world wide famous megaliths. when we were nearing the place, i gave a cry, as i couldn't believe that i was actually there. of course, we couldn't get near the rocks, but it was amazing how those ancient people could bring the blue stones from 200 miles away. and how on earth did they erect those megaliths without modern cranes and stuff?

 

7. The Visit to the Rose Garden at Hampton Court

i wanted to visit King Henry the VII's palace, but because we were there early in the morning, we could only stroll in its Rose Garden. i love roses, and i felt like a little girl lost in a candy store.wish i could bring back the rose cuttings, but of course i couldn't.

8. Seeing the Wild Red Poppies on the hills of English and French countryside.

unfortunately though, i didn't take any pics because the bus was moving. this is taken from the net. i was hoping to see daffodils, just like Wordsworth described it in his Daffodils poem, so imagine my pleasant surprise when i saw a sea of red poppies on the hills as we passed through the English and French countryside.

9. The Climb Up The Great Wall of China

this pic was taken when i was at my heaviest (sigh). my tourist guide kept asking me if i was a mongolian, and a lot of Chinese talked to me in Mandarin, which of course, i don't speak. what is amazing was that the great wall withstands the test of time and is still there even after more than a thousand years. some engineering feat, huh? 

10. Seeing La Tour Eiffel

now, who doesn't recognise this structure which is one of the most famous landmarks in the world? when i was in Paris, the Moroccan receptionist took us to this site and what took my breath away (despite the chilly air) was the fact that the lights glitter every hour. it's like there are thousands of diamonds there.

11. Shopping and eating in Bangkok

bangkok is one of the nicest places for Malaysians to shop. of course, it's a busy city just like KL, only that street food is everywhere that you wonder if it's contaminated what with all the fumes and smoke all around. what i love about bangkok is its tom yam (i tasted 3 kinds of tom yam, and thanks to Anne's friend who works in Bangkok and can speak Thai, the tom yam wasn't too sour or too spicy, to suit my sensitive stomach. i also love the paad thai and the stir-fry vegetable. i took the tuk tuk ride, and the driver was a nice man who spoke little English, so that in the end, we're like ducks and chickens talking and not really understanding each other. on the last day of my trip, i saw a row of  beautiful lotuses in front of a bank. couldn't resist a shot.

every place makes you think of the people who live there, who lived there thousands of years ago, their culture and their beliefs. it makes one understand the diversity of cultures and thoughts - and at the same time how we are similar to each other.

The Letter from the Scholarship Div

in the quest of making myself happy and moving forward in my life, i had to request the Scholarship Div to check on my contract with the M.o.E status. the malay has a saying "hendak seribu daya tak nak seribu dalih" meaning "if you want something, then you make a thousand efforts, if you don't want it, you make a thousand excuses". my letter was missing somewhere in M.o.E, so i had to personally hand deliver the letter to the officer in charge. it's not easy to go to Putrajaya to do it, but i did it.

well, i received the letter from the officer yesterday. i did a rough calculation and thought that my contract ends in august, but i had a pleasant surprise when i read that the contract ends on 31st May. yay! i can decide what to do with my life after that, with full support from my family and friends. 

like what gina said last night " you've been getting a lot of good news lately". good things come to those who wait.

The Letter

last tuesday started badly. i had 6 periods of classes, and that also included screaming at some of the boys. my head of panel broke to me the bad news - that we have to hold an English workshop for the good students just because, well, just because the Science Panel did it last week, and that somebody didn't want the HM to think he has slackened. how nice. somebody made an error, and somebody else has to do the dirty job.

and so i came home feeling miserable, because i had to prepare a powerpoint presentation. as usual i checked the mail. and suddenly there was a letter addressed to me, with Lembaga Tabung Haji stamp on it. i was thinking, "Oh well, may be they just wanted to inform me that i've enough money to go to Mekah"

But, it wasn't so. instead, it reads "Tawaran Menunaikan Haji Tahun 1431H/2010M (Terpilih)" (An Offer to Perform Haj in the year 1431 Hijjrah/2010 AD (Chosen)). suddenly there's a wide smile on my face. bigger than the Cheshire cat's. my neighbour was watering his plants and noticed me smiling "apa tu kak?" and i informed him. reality checked in, and suddenly, i was jumping like a school girl!!

it felt good. it really felt good. it's a surreal feeling, more than when i received my M.A cert from HR Raja Nazrin, just like the time when i saw Kaabah for the first time. only 0.01% Malaysians are chosen to perform haj every year, and now i'm one of them.

Alhamdulillah.

My Rest Day

all this while, i was puzzled by my constant fatigue spells. i wondered if it was because of my weight, as the body fat analysis machine i stepped on last year recorded my biological age as 59 (that was before i started losing weight). but then it can't be, since i've been going to the gym religiously. one should feel healthy and energised, right?

my friend Iris commented that i looked fresh when i met her last week. that made me happy.

but i still feel tired, and sometimes in the morning, after an 8 hour sleep, i still feel like i can do with some more snooze time.

yesterday i had a meeting. and i had to present a financial report. those who know me well know that numbers and i don't go along. i'm a language and literature expert, not a mathematician. and so i was struggling to finish the report when i felt the vein in my temple swell and throb (aka as migraine). went to school with the pain still throbbing. presented the report, which paled in comparison to the other treasurer's report (which is much much detailed, and presented in 3 different ways, along with receipt numbers to prove). mine looked rudimentary. but never mind, she's a math teacher.

the lesson went well until my last class, with 3 jokers there to irritate me with their lack of interest in studies (and they're half literate) and the fact that i had to shout on top of my lungs since the little kids (the form 1 students) at the next block were cheering their friends who were playing sepak takraw like mad . with all the ruckus, i couldn't cope, especially since i was trying to explain to the class a chapter in The Phantom of the Opera.

at the end of school day, i told my colleague Dayang i wanted to unwind. but i was too tired to go to KLCC for some shopping therapy. slept early, and hoped that i'd be fresh the next day.

wrong.

i was dead tired. woke up for subuh prayer, had breakfast, and by 9am i felt sleepy again. that meant i was tired. to make it worse, i felt the temple throbbing again, and this time the migraine spread to my left side of the head. i ignored the pain and got ready to go to the gym. by the time i got in the car, i was undecided whether to go to the gym and later to work or to take an MC. i was already at the LRT station when i asked myself

"Can i jog on the treadmill in this condition?"

Honestly, no.

"Can i teach in this condition?"
i don't like to teach when i don't feel well. the students can feel it.

and so, i went to the clinic. my blood pressure reading was good. okay, that's a big relief, since i've been watching my diet and going to the gym. but the big question was, why do i have this constant fatigue? so i asked the doctor. his answer? mental tiredness. that, and also the stress of living in KL.

so today i spent the entire day resting and not going anywhere, not even to MaxValu. i feel refreshed now, and at least i know that it's because of stress i feel this way.

makes me think of my hometown - the sea air, the fresh fish, and no traffic congestion. if only, if only.

The Meeting with Friends

today when i visited my close friend Dr As i asked her if there's something wrong with me, and if i have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. she said no. thank god for that. and i asked her again, "then why do i feel this way? is there something wrong with me?"

well, what is wrong with me? the normal answer would be i've been rushing everywhere from breakfast to preparing to go to the gym AND to school, then off i go to the gym, working out a sweat or two (i never seem to sweat like those mat sallehs...or this one lady who obviously looks like she's spent her entire life in the gym) on the treadmill or the elliptical trainer then the weight training...then head off to the locker room and take a quick shower, then walking quickly, take the LRT and then drive to school. and that doesn't include screaming at the disobedient boys who think that learning is a bore. but anyway, after some quiet days at home, i had to make a visit to the MOE in putrajaya yesterday to hand deliver some documents to an officer. i went with my friend mozie, because i knew if i went alone, i'd be screaming or i'd be driving slow and people would honk at me because of my T reg. no. and also, i didn't want to get lost in parcel E.

the morning started when i had to go to school to show my head of panel the books that i've chosen for my students for the Reading Programme. then i went to pick Mozie at her house, and then we're off to putrajaya. it seems that now there's "park and ride" where people can park at a spacious parking lot (situated in front of SAS) and then take a bus ride to their destinations in putrajaya. we arrived at Parcel E alright, only to discover that we had to walk a long way to reach Blok E12. and it was noon. mozie was already texting our tesl friends working in putrajaya. when we reached the block, i called the officer to inform her that we've arrived. try and guess her answer:

"cikgu, saya kat E2"

what??

and so, looking like people lost in the desert, we made our way, and once we're in the building we loved the air cond so much. after the meeting, we took the bus back to the parking lot, and drove to Alamanda, since mozie said she had never gone there before. yes we had lunch and met up with Daliey (who looks the same), and after she'd gone back to the office, we met Elly (who also looks the same, slim as ever), who was having lunch with her son. after chit chatting for awhile, we made a move because i didn't want to be caught in the jam at MRR2.

that night i had tuition class with the boys until nearly 11pm. i was sleepy, they were sleepy. but i was disappointed with them so i gave them a long lecture.

and this morning i woke up with a migraine.

great.

so i was late going to the gym. i was dead tired after the workout, but i promised to meet As, and so i kept my promise. i didn't talk much and wasn't my usual chirpy self, and she knew why. that's when i started asking her about the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

"you do not have the syndrome, nora"

then she launched into a medical talk. okay. she said it's normal to be this tired, and related to me the hadiths she read regarding the wives of the Prophet who were given specific house chores to do, instead of one person doing everything all at once like what we modern women are doing now.

i feel so relieved with her answer. and so i was lying on the carpet there, unceremoniously, and we talked and talked until she got up to knead the doughnut dough in front of me (since she said i was too tired to get up) and asked me for tips and pointers on how to knead the dough properly. the doughnuts turned out perfect!

after tea, i returned home. yes, i'm tired.

on sunday i'll be meeting my former MA coursemates elison and iris and it'll be fun catching up with people who've been with me when i went through blood, sweat and tears to finish the course (because they also went through hell to finish it).

and only then i'll begin the school week. screaming again...

The Past Revisited

"it's too painful"

those were the last words my ex bf said to me when we parted a decade ago. i had asked him if we could remain friends.

i was jolted by a familiar name this morning while reading the comments posted on my friend's status update in FB.

i haven't really thought of him these past few years. he's like a distant memory, like he's from my past life.

and it is such a small world when i found out his family members are connected to some of the people who are linked to me.

i found his sister's FB. i shouldn't have peeked, it's like opening Pandora's box. i was searching for his face, even though i know i shouldn't have. but i did. he's not changed at all. except that he has children, although i don't know which ones are his.

i'm not going to say that the children could have been mine, because truthfully, we can't live together as husband and wife. back then, i was naive, ignorant, and stupid but now i'm wiser and i can fight my own battles.

i don't know if i still love him. but then, it doesn't matter. he's right though, it's too painful to remain friends.

Preparation for the Greatest Spiritual Journey

i think among the greatest moments in my life was when i chose to leave my jahiliyyah days and returned to the right path. it's not easy, since temptations are always around. but Allah gave me his blessings and guided me. before, i felt soiled, unclean and not worthy. but after the realisation, i felt blessed, and loved. and at peace.

the first spiritual journey i made revealed to me the wonders of Masjidil Haram and Baitullah. upon entering the Holy City, i wept when i recited the talbiyyah, because i was humbled by it. if there is one thing that can make me weep any time of the day, that is the talbiyyah. i'm so moved by it. the Kaabah was magnificent, and it was kind of surreal when i looked at it for the first time. i was there, finally!! to be able to do tawaf there on the white marble floor, circling the kaabah, and to pray in the greatest mosque in the world - it's an honour. and it was there that i experienced 2 miracles, of which i'm not going to mention here.

now, i miss the peace. because i'm struggling!

in preparation for another journey, i find that learning the most basic knowledge helps. but knowledge alone doesn't help. it has to come with khusyu' in prayers, which i'm still struggling at, sad to say. backsliding is so easy. it's not easy to be good. it's even easier to disobey, like a rebellious teenager. but then, for how long are we going to act like teens?

today i attended the first session of the course, and when the presenter recited the talbiyyah i wept again. i think the next time i backslide, i will remember the talbiyyah and my true objective.

Labaik allahhummala bayk
"here i am, O Allah, here i am!"

Baking Mode part deux: the tragedy

so this morning while i was making the bread i realised that i could only be able to eat it at 10.30am and i was already hungry! i had some bananas and decided to make banana muffins. the recipe i have calls for bran but i only have regular oats. so i happily made the muffins, and despite the fact that i don't really trust and like baking soda, i added the exact amount as stated in the recipe. it also calls for milk. and i have fresh milk in the fridge. i was even thinking of being a good neighbour and sending some muffins to my neighbours.

in no time the kitchen smelled of sweet banana. i was so hungry! i had four muffins and was quite disappointed because the baking soda taste was overpowering. well, that killed the idea of sending some to the neighbours.

only after eating did i remember that i've been suffering gastric pain these past few days because of the fresh milk. i had stopped drinking milk for almost a year now, and only re-introduced it to my diet a few days ago.

i remember thinking that i'd be lucky if i could escape the pain today.

i was wrong. the gastric pain "kicked" in at 2.30p.m (i felt like someone kicking my tummy) and though i'm not writhing in pain, it stopped all my favourite activities which include baking and my gym workout.

it reminds me of what kak sham told me weeks ago that she once laughed at our dear late mother for joint aches after eating her favourite nangka, and now we as the children who are growing older also have the same problem she once had.

a painful reminder that we are not invincible and most importantly, that we are not young anymore.

Baking Mode

there's nothing on at school this weekend and i'm so glad. i'm in a celebratory mood, and decided to do what i love, which is baking. i used to bake loaves of bread once upon a time. but because of tiredness and frequent gym trips (therefore, time constraint) before going to school, i don't bake anymore.

i'm bored of using the recipe i've been using for years, which is Amish white bread, so i decided to use Delia Smith's recipe from her book The Complete Cookery Course. this recipe uses less sugar than Amish bread recipe, and less fat too. however, the dough took a long time to rise as it was a cloudy morning. but whatever it is, nothing beats the smell of homemade bread.

the trip to singapore

my niece Gina laughed when i told her i was going to singapore. "there's nothing in singapore la mak nora". for malaysians obviously, a trip to singapore is just blase' as singapore is practically next door. as for me, i just wanted to add another immigration stamp in my passport. what made it exciting was that a few teachers and i decided to go there via Senandung Malam and we booked sleeping berths. i always feel that travelling in a train gives a more sense of adventure than the normal air travel does. the train stopped for an immigration check at Woodlands. reminds me of the time when i was on my way to Paris via the English Channel and we had to stop for an immigration check at Dover. after the check the train continued its journey until we arrived at the KTM station at Tanjong Pagar. at last! the best thing is that we're in foreign soil and were still able to talk in Bahasa and be understood. our first agenda of the day was to have breakfast at the mamak restaurant at the station. i had puri. not as good as the Jalan Ipoh puris though. after the meal and shower at the station, we decided to go to Sentosa Island. actually i'm not big on theme parks. along the way i noticed the slight differences in the singaporean scenes - the signboards are in English, and the roads are clean. and there are no lepakers. not familiar with the MRT routes, we had to ask around until we met with a Malaysian chap who's originally from Taiping! he was very helpful and obliging so we followed him to Sentosa. i pity the girlfriend though, i'm sure she was thinking he had no business assisting 6 Malaysian ladies while they're on a date! we took the MRT to Harbour Front and then took a ride to the island. it was a hot, hot day and i was thankful that i put on the sunblock. originally we wanted to go to Universal Studios but it's still not open. there's a Hershey's store though, and i was in there for awhile. we then went to Raffles Place to see the famous Singaporean landmark, the Merlion. at this point, we're practically dragging our feet, because the knapsack and the afternoon sun were taking a toll on us. anyway, i was disappointed to discover that the merlion was small. the Langkawi eagle is much much bigger than this. we then went to find Masjid Sultan at Arab Street and hoped to find some cheap halal restaurants. we were so tired that we ate at the nearest shop. after some sustenance we prayed at Masjid Sultan and earned stares from some Singaporean ladies. probably because we were tired and were lying on the carpeted floor after prayers. in the late afternoon after our energy had somewhat been recharged, we wondered in and out the souvenir shops along Arab Street. i didn't buy anything since i didn't see anything that shouted "uniquely singaporean". kak sham told me the silks were cheap there. actually the fabric prices are the same as those in Malaysia. it was maghrib, and we hurriedly went back to KTM station. had dinner and showered and finally it's back on the train. bad news - our coach was at the back and so we could literally hear the engines working underneath the floor. and throughout the night we were serenaded by loud bumping sounds. that didn't deter us from sleeping soundly because we were too tired to care.

The Idea....

the last entry triggered this entry, because there are a lot of things that i wish i can do in my life, that in the past i used to confuse myself with the idea and reality.

for instance, i love to cook. but i'm not that great like Nigella Lawson or Julia Child or Martha Stewart. i like the idea of cooking because it's very therapeutic. i love the smell of freshly baked goods like cakes and breads, and i love the idea of rolling the pastry to make croissants from scratch. but then, reality only stops at baking and cooking for survival - because even though i know how to make croissant, the thought of folding the pastry for a few times makes me cringe. plus, i must have ample time to do it.

and i love the idea of having a garden. when i was in terengganu i would buy a lot of plants - i used to have asters, roses, dianthuses, water iris, petunias and chrysanthemums. but that's just it. i just love the idea. at that time, my late mother would point that out to me and told me to stop buying plants.

and i love the idea of having a cat. i used to have a lot. my most beloved cat would be Fluffy, who died on 25th march 2007. he's a persian and was so adorable. but then i had a maid to feed him and clear his litter. for almost a year now i've been toying with the idea. but then i had to take a reality check. i can't take care of a persian on my own now.

and the greatest idea? to travel and have unlimited financial sources in order to do it. that'd make my day.

ah, the idea, the idea...

Tiring Monday

thank god yesterday's the second day of Chinese New Year. the road was virtually empty (that's a dream coming true for every KL driver). there weren't any firecrackers either. wait, there was once in the night when i heard it for probably less than a minute.

anyway, the holidays means that i can do some spring cleaning. abang najib said he's coming over to get rid of the bushes at the back of the house, but he and kak dah cancelled. so it's just me and me. the problem of staying here is the maintenance, which i'm not really good at. that also extends to gardening, and because both abang najib and kak dah have masters degree in horticulture, they used their knowledge in designing the small garden with a fibreglass fish pond. i come from a family of green fingers, and i often joke that our ancestors must have been farmers planting vegetables in China, but then - i only love the idea of gardening. not the actual gardening. this my late mother knew so well because back in terengganu in the happier days, i would buy loads of roses, dianthuses, asters, chrysanthemums - but i had a bibik to take care of them.

so you can just imagine how pathetic the garden looks now - abang najib's manicured lawn isn't manicured anymore, i'm just waiting for those bangladeshis to come and mow the lawn. his usually well-kept well manicured bougainvilleas are nothing of the sort, you can see a few long branches here and there. at the back of the house, some vines have creeped on another bougainvillea and the tiles were dirty.

so guess what i did? took the scateurs and snipped, snipped and snipped. the bushes are still there though, that's a man's work. and i washed the dirty tiles. and i'm proud of myself.

i wanted to sweep and mop the floor, but by that time i called it a day, showered god knows for how many times because of the heat, and watched Glee.

in the evening, Sazi came over after her meeting with Linda Jasmine and Dr Fazley, and she watched me bake a sponge cake and later we went to have an early dinner at my favourite indian stall at jalan ipoh. ah, a nice place to have puri with fish curry. divine.

visiting the family

on saturday (while i was attending a boring and unnecessary course at school, and it was the first day of the Chinese New Year hols for god's sake!) inas called me to say that zek was holding a tahlil at his new house in denai alam. i was excited, and promised her to go.

i called kak sham to ask if she's going, because i'd be lost if i went alone (i've never been to denai alam, and though it's not as jin bertendang as ijok jaya, i know i'll just cry if i'm stuck there on guthrie highway). kak sham wasn't keen on going, and only after she heard that kak dah was going that she changed her mind. i was to come to her house at kelana jaya at 9am, and from there we would proceed to denai alam.

well, we got lost. the names there are all scientific terms like elektron and neutron and metafasa. don't have any aesthetic value, do they?

but finally we found the house, like my brother in-law said with a straight face, "look for the house with many mercedeses parked outside."

my brothers were there, except for my favourite brother who's currently in madinah, and also my eldest sister in-law's family and her mother, who reminded me so much of my late mother. the mc for the tahlil was my nephew didi, who abang mi dubbed as "the gentle bear".

the food was superb, of course, and i enjoyed the food tremendously (don't i always). there's nasi tomato with the works and also daging dendeng, and of all the food that i had, i was impressed with the cake sandwich i had. it's just a simple cake, 2 layer-cake with strawberry jam. i like it so much that i went on my fav recipe sites to find the recipe. it's not a dense cake, therefore it's not a butter cake, so it can't be the usual victoria sponge sandwich, so i think it's a sponge cake made with sponge mix. and i intend to try it one of these days.

kak sham wanted me to tag along to a wedding, but she went too soon, and i found myself in kak dah's car going to abang halim's house at sg buloh. abang halim loves the rustic life, so he has a house in a kampung, with fruit trees all around. he loves doing the DIY projects and at the moment he is tiling his house himself. i knew he does it himself because i could see the smudges on the black tiles at the gate, and he told us that as he was tiling the house he found out that his house isn't perfectly horizontal. it was noon and very hot, and so we had a mat spread outside and lounged on it while sipping iced cold ribena and eating sweet mangoes.

it was later in the afternoon that i made my way back to ampang, feeling too full with all the rich spread. the gym was closed, so i had to do my own workout without the help of any machines *sigh*

Julie/Julia

i've been meaning to watch the movie ever since i saw the trailer somewhere on TV...can't remember what's the programme. anyhow, i watched the movie on this lovely sunday morning (because we only have one day to rest this weekend, thanks to the school day replacement yesterday) and i love it! who wouldn't? it's a movie about Julie Powell who set a deadline for a year to cook the entire 500+ recipes from Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. it was 2002 and Julie Powell wrote her culinary experiences in her blog, which was quite a novelty way back then (i mean blogging). the blog is still available, should any of the readers want to read it http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/2002/08/30.html the movie is about 2 stories - from 21st century US, portraying Julie (played by Amy Adams) and her life and 1949-50s Paris portraying Julia Child (played by Meryl Streep, who does a good job of talking just like Julia). i love the part when Julia arrives in Paris and takes in delight when she eats fish cooked in butter. and i love it because Julie finally undergoes a self-discovery through her cooking, inspiring people to do what they love and to learn from it.

a must see for all foodies. you'll be inspired.

p.s. wish i could enrol in that le cordon bleu school in paris

it hurts!

When another teacher at school lost a considerable amount of weight in just 3 months, i felt very threatened. well, she didn't go on a crash diet. like me, she goes to the gym. but unlike me, she has a personal trainer. that's the difference.

and so, i feel very dissatisfied with my body (duh, when do i really feel satisfied in the first place?). i'm not going to pay rm1.2k for a personal trainer, so lately i've been doing a lot of reading about workouts on the net. i know i should do something with my still-bulging tummy and also my butt. and legs. i just found out on Oprah that i have what is called "cankles". in other words, not so defined legs. that's why my legs look more like tree stump than a ballerina's graceful long legs.

and so today, armed with workout pics saved in my handphone, i made my way to the gym, determined to alter my workout.

for starters, do u know that walking up the hill is one of the best exercise for your butt? the gym equivalent of it is to walk on incline mode and to increase the % of the incline. that's what i did, and not long after i hit the scale 6, i had to decline since i was huffing and puffing (though not that vigorously). i did some other lower half body workouts, and at that time i did with such fervour, hoping that in time my thick thighs and legs will be smaller and toned. i was satisfied with myself.

but a few hours later, the aftermath is quite unexpected. my cheeks feel so sore (not the cheeks on your face) that to sit on a pillow of soft cushion or feathers will be very nice.

my nephew zainal called it "a literal pain in the a$$"

the 1st anniversary and teaching

25th january marked the 1st anniversary of my mother's passing. though the thought of it makes me glum, i can't help but think that Allah has also given my family joy, because my close niece Gina gave birth to a baby girl on the same day.

because of the anniversary, we held a tahlil on saturday night at abg zaki's house. the food was superb, since he catered from Al-Rawshah. we had mutton and chicken mundy rice that night, which was not good news for those who have high cholesterol level. the theme of the main meal might be arabic, but the dessert was western influenced - since intan was trained in London, so we had tiers of profiteroles (cream puffs) and tartlets, while janna made english trifle.

there are times when i think of my mother, but i don't feel as sad as before. yes, the death of our parents will affect us in the most profound way, but truthfully speaking, we should also celebrate life. at the time i'm thinking of this, the image of my 4 month old grandnephew Aidil comes to my mind - a sweet-natured baby that just melts anyone's heart.

in school too, though i'm busy and lamenting the amount of work to be done with no-compromise deadlines (and still frustrated with the amount of work given in an any typical wilayah school), i find joy in teaching the students. i'm grateful for my head of panel who understands that it is not easy to "fall" from teaching the upper forms to the lower forms. she gave me form 2 classes, and one of them is the best class. i'm happy to be able to teach them the way i taught in SS. and i know they're happy too, judging from the enthusiastic response after i taught them how to make their essays interesting. good students always love challenges. and i'm happy to oblige them. the other two classes are okay, and i also teach the classes which have slow learners. it's very challenging too, when 3/4 of the class can read and the other 1/4 can't really understand what you're saying or what they're reading. which is why i told my head of panel that i'm conducting a personal project - a reading programme. my students will read books according to their level of proficiency, which i hope in time will help to speed up their reading, expand their vocabulary and to have the confidence to speak.

sounds easy? not really. but i know that i'm born to be an educator, and so i will enlighten the young ones's minds.

Busy n busier

this week has been the busiest for me, until it affected me. i'm down with fever, and even though there are tonnes of work to be done (literally) i had to take an MC or drop dead at school (not literally i hope). plus, anyone who hears my voice knows that i'm sick.

i was on the verge of breaking down during the course yesterday, but i had to force my body to wait just a bit longer since i had to get all the necessary information before we conduct the in-house training for the other english teachers at school.

that's just 1 worry. there's the cross country race tomorrow. i'm the team manager since i'm the ketua rumah. how am i supposed to call the little ones if i cant shout? then there's the SMM where i've to key in the students information. which obviously i can't do now that i'm sick. that's supposed to be due on tuesday.

i'm tired of doing the clerical work. in fact, i think there's a lot of clerical work to be done in school compared to the actual teaching. so why are we called teachers in the first place?

The Afternoon Session

the migration from the morning to the afternoon session is not that simple.

you have to be prepared mentally and re-adjust all your routines. i was just about to do that when all the other "duties" beckoned and forced me to forgo my gym visits. so my schedule went haywire. not to mention i also went haywire.

i'm head of one of the sports house (hate it!) and the teachers in my house were telling me to do this and that. the last thing i wanted to do was to go to school as early as 8am... you have to remember by the time i leave school, it'll be close to 7pm.

i'm also the treasurer for the kelab guru. the president of the club was smirking last year when he distributed the ballots for this year's committee, since he was positive i would make it to the committee. it irritated me to see his smirk, because in my 12 year service i've been in the committee of kelab guru 3 times (one of the presidents died while in service), and plus this year, it's my 4th. and by the way, i'm hopeless with numbers. they must be daft for choosing me as the treasurer. and the responsibilities of the treasurer at my school is a lot!

so i went and still go through the days in a daze. too many things to do.

on the bright side though, the teaching is okay, because i'm teaching the younger kids. but that also means i've to bear with their childish antics. the first class is a reminiscent of SS students and i'm so thankful for my head of panel for slotting that class for me. but the rest, well...that's a different story.

in summary, surviving, but wishing that i could be teaching somewhere else.